Jeremy (A Jayy Von Monroe FanFic)
by BassyLuvv9222
Summary: I don't wanna do a summary. This is about Jayy Von Monroe.


Jeremy **A Jayy Von Monroe Fanfic written by Krys Jay Hunter** Chapter One

"I still can't believe we got to skip the line. We're right up front!" I yelped.

"I can't believe we have our own place together," Jade added, probably twice as excited as me, but with half as much literal bouncing.

"I know!" I squealed right as Jayy walked onstage with two mic stands, most likely to set them up for the show.

_Please don't let him have noticed. Please_ _do _not_ let him have noticed._

No such luck. "Hey babe don't start without me,"

With a faux pout, I quickly replied, "Maybe, if you'd have came sooner, I wouldn't have had to,"

We both laughed and he went back to setting up the mic stands. Turning to Jade, I whispered, "God I love his sexy ass,"

"Heard that," he laughed, sporting an evil yet playful smirk, "Love ya too, babe," he added as he finished setting up the second stand.

I blushed. _Hard._ Which is big, seen as though I never blush.

For some reason, Jade felt it was necessary to inform him of his luck. Her jaw halfway to the floor, she yelled, "You like him!"

"Slow news day?" I mumbled as Jayy laughed and hopped offstage. Ignoring the fact that he was right next to me and probably very amused by this I smirked and added, "Have you _seen_ him? He's fucking hot,"

"What makes you so sure she likes me?" He asked her.

"Well, besides the fact that she doesn't shut up about you _or _Dahvie, you're also the only person I've seen make her blush since Jake!"

"And _who_ is Jake?" He teased, purposely making it obvious that he loved my horrified expression as she went to tell him.

Covering her mouth, I growled, "He doesn't need to know Jade," I glared at her.

"Why?" he teased, pouting playfully.

Jade felt compelled to respond with "Because she liked him!".

"Jade, feel free to stop at any time,"

But Jayy was enjoying himself. He slung his arm around my shoulders casually, making it seem as if it was perfectly normal. "Let her speak," he purred at me.

"There is probably two ways you're going to get me to stay quiet. Here's a hint, one can sometimes lead to the other, if you do it right," I purred, hoping it would shut him up.

No luck there either. "Hmm... I figure you mean I have to kiss you or fuck you, is that correct?"

"Mm-hmm,"

"Well, we'll see about the latter in a little while, but for now," he said as he kissed me. Jayy then made quick work of making out with me until I was leaning on him for support and he was leaning on the stage to account for the added weight. Or so I figured. As it turns out, despite never having kissed anyone in my entire life prior to him, I was a pretty good kisser.

"Damn," Jayy said in between gasps for air.

I couldn't help it, my full weight was leaned into him just so I could manage to stand weakly. He didn't seem to mind, and, if he did, he was too preoccupied with breathing to notice or care.

Jade's jaw dropped even farther, which I hadn't thought was possible, but she managed. Jade recovered real fast, however, as someone walked onto the stage.

"He too much for you?" an outside voice called. But I knew that voice and Jade's shocked expression confirmed it. Dahvie Vanity.

I whimpered nervously and, instinctually, Jayy's arm tightened around me so I could hide my face in his chest. He didn't even seem to care when I did. Maybe it was normal for people to be all over him. Or maybe his breathing was still occupying his conscious mind.

Either way, he let me hide without argument or even so much as a grunt until my blush went away and I realized what I was doing.

"I'm sorry!" I yelped, pulling out from under his arm. But his grip was too strong and I merely gained an inch.

"N-No, I am. Would you like me to let you go?"

"Up to you..." I mumbled, unsure of myself.

"I don't know. It's sort of comfortable. So long as you don't mind, I think I'll stay this way. Plus I think one or both of us may fall if I let go. You still seem a little shaky,"

"Well no wonder!" Dahvie laughed. "I saw the way you were kissing her! You _liked_ it!' he accused.

"Well I guess it was going to happen sooner or later, there's some karma for my teasing you earlier," He said, blushing and making unsuccessful attempts to hide it.

"I didn't think you were capable of blushing!" I teased him, easily and gratefully taking on the role he'd more than owned a few moments ago.

"It's possible, but very unlikely. Unless I've embarrassed you in front of someone you like?" Dahvie asked, cocking one eyebrow and smirking.

Jayy leaned closer to my ear and muttered, "I'll be right back, and, when I am, I'm going right back into this position." He tapped my shoulder with the hand that already laid there to let me know what he meant.

I nodded softly and he pulled me close and kissed my forehead. Just as quickly, however, Jayy let go and hopped onstage, chasing Dahvie as he ran. Jayy, being much taller and therefore having longer legs than Dahvie, caught up to him easily. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and, in turn, Dahvie gave him an innocent "I-Did-Nothing-Wrong" puppy-dog face. Jayy's look simply screamed "Bullshit!"

"Learn to shut your mouth David Jesus Torres or I swear I will-"

"I wouldn't bring real names into this," Dahvie teased. For whatever reason, he seemed to get a kick out of pissing Jayy off.

"You'd better watch it!" Jayy yelled, but there was still a hint of playfulness in his tone. His eyes, however, were pleading as he blushed again as he realized I'd heard Dahvie.

"It's alright Jayy. I knew your name before. So did Jade," I called, trying to soothe him.

Dahvie smirked, "Wow! She's a keeper! Don't fuck it up,"

At that, Jayy slapped him softly enough that it was more like a gentle tap on the cheek. It didn't even mess up Dahvie's hair. Well, not any more than the running had. Either way, the damage was done and Dahvie went to go fix it.

As he walked, Dahvie yelled "I'll be back soon. By the way, what's your name?"

"Jasmine. Jasmine Jayy Clountryd. Call me Jazz." I called gently.

"I'll get started on the wedding invitations!" Dahvie teased loudly.

"You're gonna fucking die you bastard," Jayy said, laughing and waving off Dahvie's bodyguard as he did, "I'm just playin',"

"If I'd have known it was you I wouldn't have bother walking all the way out here. I know you two and how, er...well you get along," he laughed.

Jayy hopped back down off the stage, somewhat out of breath, "Sorry 'bout that. He needed to be taught a lesson and-Wait. Did you say Jayy?"

"Yeah. Two 'y's. I liked the sound of it and the spelling. Besides, I didn't want to live the rest of my life being called Liz. I changed my middle name." I added when he cocked his head, confused. "From Jasmine Elizabeth Clountryd."

Soon enough Dahvie came back out with a piece of paper with a black box printed onto it. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a fake wedding invitation.

"How's it look?"

"Looks like you definitely instilled some values upon him," I laughed to Jayy, "The invite looks great, actually. But maybe my judgment is clouded by the fact that it has my name and his on it and it says marriage,"

Dahvie laughed, "Here, keep it. I've got it saved on my computer anyway,"

"You rat bastard," Jayy laughed.

"Hey! No matter how good the intentions, words can hurt Jayy,"

"Oh shut up. I fucking love you. Now stop teasing her,"

"She doesn't seem to mind the idea," Dahvie said, pointing at me, "Look at how she's looking at the invite,"

"_Why_ do you want that?" Jayy whined, looking at me with a faux-pained expression.

"I don't know..." I said, blushing again.

"Cause you're funny and sexy," Jade laughed, "I know her and that's exactly what she told me when I asked her why she was so obsessed with you. Oh, and she loves that you can sing,"

Jayy smirked, happy to once again be the reason people blush rather than blushing himself, "Well isn't that sweet," He purred and kissed me again, gentler this time, and a hell of a lot quicker.

Still, I leaned into him, "Don't tell me that was your first," he chuckled and added "And _second_ kiss?" he asked softly, "How old are you?"

"Seventeen. No wait, eighteen today"

"So you're legal. Cool."

"You're eighteen and you've never kissed anyone before him?" Dahvie asked genuinely.

"Haven't had a lot of boyfriends,"

"Girlfriends?" Jayy asked softly. He looked worried.

"Eh, I swing both ways," I mumbled, unsure of why he was so nervous that I wasn't into guys, "But only one there. God she was fucking hot..." I added, getting lost in the memory, "But no. Never kissed any of them,"

"Would it be weird for me to ask for a number?"

"Hers...?"

"_No!_' he laughed. "How many people?"

"Oh...Like..." I let my voice trail off on the number.

"C'mon. I won't tease you. Just curious,"

"Four. One in 6th, one in 7th, one in 9th, and one just...Well recently..."

"Oh...I'm sorry,"

"No it's alright. That was the chick. Sorta on the road to giving up on guys. Why the hell there'e no one like you guys that's into me, I will never fucking know, but-" As I looked back at Jayy he was blushing and he hugged me softly.

"Don't give up on us. We're not all assholes. But you don't want someone like me. Too much past, too unstable,"

"You don't seem unstable. Well, besides after we kissed, but that was more of a physical response than a personality trait. And, trust me, the feeling was mutual. I'd have you in a second if you were interested. Dead serious."

His eyes lit up and Dahvie smiled. "You just said the magic words, angel." Dahvie mumbled softly, a gently pleading undertone in his voice.

"No. Way." I said, starting to understand and secretly hoping what I was thinking was actually happening, but more so hoping that I wasn't going insane.

"If I say it, promise you won't laugh," Jayy growled through clenched teeth.

"Promise," I said sincerely, "But at _what, _exactly?"

"I haven't been with a girl in a while. A long time actually, but I...I _am_ interested. Well, that's sort of an understatement. Obsessed works. The reason I teased you and Dahvie said what he did is 'cause I've been seeing you around town and we're thinking about staying here for a while and-"

"Jayy. You're rambling," Dahvie purred in an attempt to keep him on track.

"I _really_...like you," he whispered.

"You're not screwing with me?"

"No...I-I wouldn't...I _couldn't_ do that," Between the stutter and the way he couldn't look up at me for fear of letting me see his blush gave him away. He was dead serious.

I kissed his cheek, "Now why didn't you tell me that sooner of you've seen me and thought of me so much?"

"He's been debating on it for a while. At least a couple weeks," Dahvie explained for him whilst Jayy blushed and tried to recover.

"I never expected you'd be here. I was sort of trying to get over you. I mean, before now, I'd never even talked to you and yet you were the only thing on my mind. I didn't get it. I _don't _get it."

"No, but we've all heard about enough of it," Dahvie laughed, "So we figured it'd get his mind of the subject if we did a concert. Maybe he'd even meet someone,"

Someone walked onstage, "Well this wasn't what I expected, but it'll work. At least now he doesn't have to constantly whine that you didn't know him, but he's still nuts for you. Plus we don't have to hear the fucking annoying 'Why can't I tell her. I _need_ to tell her.' shit every day."

"Hey, you guys realize we've been ignoring Jade? I know it's not on purpose, but she looks like she's about to burst," Dahvie asked.

"N-No. Don't worry about me..."

"I promise that'll stop in one minute Jade," Jayy said apologetically, "But first," He leaned close to my ear, "Would you please go out with me after the show? After that, if you don't want to stay with me that's fine. Just one date?"

Chapter Two

"Y-Yes," I stuttered gently. He kissed me, helping me recover.

"You did just say what I think you did, right?" he questioned, trying not to get excited yet.

"Yes,"

His eyes widened as he let the excitement flood through them.

"She-Sh-Sh-"

"Spit it out," Dahvie said.

"She said yes," Jayy stuttered in a daze. His arm weakened on my shoulders, "She said she'd would go out with me..."

"Thank fucking God, now hurry up, we've got a show to do," Their guitarist yelled.

"She said yes," Jayy mumbled again, "She said _yes,"_

"Is he okay?" I asked Dahvie.

"Yeah, he'll be fine. Wanna sit onstage? With Jade of course,"

"Sure!"

"You fucking said yes," Jayy laughed accusingly as he turned to me, his eyes visibly clearing up. "You said fucking _yes_!"

"See, he'll be fine in a minute,"

He kissed me. _Hard. Really _hard, "Alright guys, places to go people to see. Jayy come _on_. You can freak out later. Thousands of screaming fans to scare the fuck out of,"

"I can and _will_ freak out later. I promise. But for now-"

"Ignore what he's about to say," Dahvie said knowingly.

"I love you, I'll see you after the show," Jayy purred kissing me gently and snapping out of his daze fully.

"Called it," Dahvie purred, obviously proud of himself, "C'mon Jayy. Move it and stop scaring her,"

"Sorry, don't mean to pull you apart, but we've got a show to do," The guitarist called as Jayy moved backstage.

"I-I know. N-N-"

"Come on, not you too. Spit it out,"

"No problem. Thanks Dahvie. And... I'm Sorry..."

"Don't be. Just be warned, he's gonna love the fuck out of you after the show," Dahvie replied, shrugging it off, "Be ready,"

"Should I worry?"

"Not yet," he smirked and winked, "C'mon. You too. If you're going out with Jayy, you and Jade come backstage with the rest of us,"

"Really?"

"Minor perk," he teased, "Now let's go, we don't have time,"

"Sorry," I said, grabbing Jade's arm and getting onstage.

"Cool!" Jade laughed.

Dahvie showed us backstage quickly, "Isn't it?"

"Definitely,"

"You just wait until the show starts. It's fucking awesome,"

"Hey babe," Jayy said excitedly as we joined the rest of the gang. He walked over, slung his arm around my shoulders proudly and kissed me.

"So which one's yours?" A very familiar voice asked teasingly. As the voice got closer, it turned toward me and asked, "You the one who's been driving Jayy nuts?"

"I guess," I laughed.

"You just leave her be Jeffree,"

"Wait, Jeffree. As in Star?"

"In the flesh. Or whatever the fuck this shit is called," he laughed, pinching himself.

"No. Way."

"You can only say that so many times in a half an hour baby," Jayy laughed, "You'd better get used to it soon. After tonight, I own you,"

My eyes widened, and he laughed, "Not until you're ready. Though it _would_ make a hell of a birthday present,"

"We gotta get goin' guys. SGTC is in the house!" Their guitarist yelled, purposely letting the crowd hear the last part.

"Damn right! Come over here guys," Dahvie laughed, "I gotta show you someone,"

"A-Are you guys gonna be smoking...Any...um..." I stuttered nervously, making sure only Jayy could hear.

"You mean pot? No, it's not legal here. Why?"

"Nothing. Just something I'll have to get used to,"

"More like over, you hate that stuff,"

"Uh oh..." Jayy sighed nervously, eyeing Dahvie.

"I'll be okay..."

"And I won't say anything about it," Dahvie said, minor irritation shown in his eyes as he glared at me.

"I-I'm sorry I brought it up," I whimpered as tears began to build in my eyes, blurring my vision. "I've got to go to the bathroom," I said, quickly leaving just as the tears started to spill over.

"Jasmine! Wait!"

"You don't have time Jayy. I'm sorry,"

"Too bad!" he yelled and followed me.

Chapter Three

"Jasmine? C'mon Jazz, don't worry about it."

"He was angry. I could see it in his eyes!" I yelled from the stall.

"Not at you!"

"Then what, pray tell, set him off?! He was excited and happier than fuck until I opened my stupid mouth Jayy! I'm not coming out because I refuse to come between you and your friends. You two have been friends for years. We haven't been dating an hour and I already fucked it up! I don't deserve you! Now... Go away... You've got a... Show" I mumbled as I gasped for air through the tears.

"It's a damn good thing this is a gender neutral bathroom ya know," he purred, bluntly ignoring my pleas.

"Jayy! Go!"

"I don't have to," he stated matter-of-factly.

"Fine. Don't leave. Just leave _me_ alone and don't fuck up a good friendship,"

"Hey, thought I'd find you here," Dahvie said gently to Jayy as he walked in the, now-crowded, bathroom. It only had three stalls, so it wasn't made for two grown men and and and eighteen and nineteen year old girl. "We told the crowd there were some technical difficulties so we'd have to start late, but that, since we had unlimited time, we'd still have a normal length show, maybe longer. Still, they're pretty rowdy. What happened?" He turned to Jade with that question, but Jayy answered.

"She thinks you're mad at her for what she said earlier. She said she could see the anger in your eyes,"

"Well yeah, she probably could. I wasn't exactly trying to hide it,"

"Dahvie!" Jayy yelled.

"What?" He laughed, "I _was_ mad. But not at _her_. I was mad at you for making it seem like that was a problem that she didn't like pot. As long as she doesn't mind cigarettes, you're fine. You've been trying to quit anyway and I don't _need _to smoke it. After all, it's a small price to pay to not hear you whining all the time. You know this guy didn't even want to get out of bed?" He asked, turning his words towards me, "If I'd ask him to get up and greet the fucking day, all he'd say was 'Why? So I can go make a fool of myself in front of her? I just don't know how many more times I can get up and not tell her.'"

I stopped crying and laughed a little. That, however, only brought on a coughing fit.

"You aren't mad at me?" I asked in between coughs.

"No. Never was. Sorry if that's what I made you think. My glare was aimed at Jayy, but he was pulling you so close to him I guess I misfired. I'm sorry, but it's no problem if you'd rather we not smoke when you're around,"

"Careful with what you promise, I intend for her to be around a _lot_." Jayy laughed, and I knew all too well the sexy mischievous grin that was on his face, even without seeing it. I'd been with him an hour and I already was afraid to lose him. We hadn't even gone on our first date yet. _God I'm hopeless. Oh well. At least I'm hopeless with Jayy Von fricken Monroe._

"Cool with me,"

"_See _I _told _you we'd be fine. Alright Jazz? Now don't tell me you're gonna miss the show," He begged, "And I don't know how long those fans'll wait so I need an answer," He added with a laugh.

I opened the door to my stall and walked out. Jayy and Dahvie's eyes widened for a quick fraction of a second, while Jade ran over to me and hugged me, but they forced themselves to be calm or at least look it.

_What's up with them?_ I wondered as I walked to the sink with the mirror to clean myself up. _Oh. _That's _why_.

My eyes were a misty yet bright lime green that they always turned when I cried.

"Does that always happen?" Jayy asked nervously.

"Only with strong emotion or being in a _really_ green room. Crying does it too. Her eyes are grey otherwise," Jade mumbled, helping me clean the bright red off of my arm.

"I noticed. Is it natural?"

"Yeah, my older brother's eyes are grey too. We get it from our mother. It's pretty rare actually, but I don't like it. Usually I wear contacts."

"Me too, but _your_ eyes are cool. I just wasn't prepared for them to go neon, that's all,"

We laughed and I went back out with the rest of the gang, who all asked if I was okay. I shrugged it off, telling them I was fine and probably just PMS-ing or something, which, of course, made them all laugh and set a good mood for the rest of the night.

After the show, Dahvie and the rest of the gang let me drive Jade home, all except for Jayy, who asked if he could come with us. Jade didn't mind and I certainly didn't and besides, we'd spent the whole day moving so we could go to this concert. I'd almost forgotten how tired I was. So I was more then happy to appease him when he insisted upon driving.

"You've been moving _all day? Just _so you could see _our_ concert?" Jayy asked.

"Yeah, shocked at our dedication?" I teased. When he nodded playfully I added, "No biggie. Up until this morning we'd been packing and saving up to rent a U-Haul. Besides that, my brother helped. He's 28, ten years older than me, so that definitely helped,"

"And you're sure you've got the money for rent? I can help you out if you want. And you two are always welcome at our house,"

"Thanks Jayy, but you know I couldn't ask you to do that. Anyway, I've gotta go get ready,"

"That's right, I must've let the concert get the better of my memory. You and I have got some _serious_ kissing to do. So long as you don't mind me stealing her away?" He asked Jade. I was unsure of how serious the question was, as was she I can imagine, but she decided a response was what was required of her and simply purred:

"Not at all. She got all of her unpacking done this morning. I've still got some left,"

"Need me to help?"

"No. It's Jayy Von Monroe for God's sake. Don't you _dare _fucking cancel on him,"

"Alright, figured I'd better make sure. If you get tired or want some help, I can help when I get back,"

"Oh you are _not_ coming back until tomorrow," He teased.

"It almost _is_ tomorrow Jayy," I laughed, looking at the clock and seeing it was quarter after eleven.

"Fair enough, but you know what I meant. But it is late. Do you mind if she stays the night at our house?"

"If you can _convince_ her!" She laughed, "Remember, she never even _kissed _anyone until tonight. Anyway, let her get ready,"

"Right. I'm sure I can...hmm... _persuade_ her. And what's with you two? 'Go get ready'? You look hot now!" he laughed, pretending to let his eyes rake my body, but obviously looking to the side so I wouldn't get _too_ uncomfortable.

"I'll look _much _hotter with some makeup," I said, sighing.

"If this is what you look like without it, then you do _not_ need any. Like at _all. Ever._"

"Bullshit. Anyway it came off in the bathroom earlier. I'll be back,"

"Alright, but hurry. I think I'll die if I don't get to make out with you soon,"

"Hey, I volunteered to drive," Jade teased.

"I know you did. But that does remind me. Is it okay if I give Dahvie your address so he can drop off my car?"

"Sure," Jade said looking back at me I nodded, "Go ahead," she purred, much more assuredly.

I ran up to the bathroom, pulling out my black Johnny the Homicidal Maniac bag. I grabbed my black lipstick and my blood red contacts as well as my black skull-covered dress.

Popping my contacts in, I checked in the mirror quick. My formerly venom green locks were fading into my also-dyed pitch black ones.

_Note to self; re-dye hair. I promised Jade I'd try red this time. Oh well, that's something to worry about tomorrow anyway. Unless, of course, Jayy manages to get me to spend the night in his bed._

I pulled my long, dyed, black and green hair to one side, slid on my favorite black and grey checked newsboy hat with tiny plastic gems arranged in seemingly randomized formations, checked my contacts again, twice, and put on my lipstick and put it in my bra with my iPod. I grabbed my black leather and silver stud boots and my coincidentally matching leather jacket and put them on along with my long fishnet gloves. They had a hole for my pinky and one on the other side for my thumb and then one big hole in the middle for the remaining three fingers so, needless to say, they took about a minute each to put on correctly. With a last mirror check, before my first date with Jayy Von Monroe and realized something.

My scars were showing on my thighs and arms.

Chapter Four

_Alright, no big deal. I have my fishnet stockings that'll hopefully hide them and my jacket will cover my arms. If not, I'm sure I have another cool dress I can wear, or even just a sick tee with my (purposely) ripped leather pants. I just wish a few of these weren't so _fresh_. It'll hurt to cover them, but it's necessary. _I thought, absentmindedly tracing my new scars.I sighed, flinching at the sting._ Definitely necessary._

"_Ouch." _I growled softly at the tender skin of the cuts were covered by my tight-woven fishnets, "I really wish I knew how to calm down without my blade," I whispered.

As seems to have become the norm, Jayy walked in just as I said it. But, this time, luck seemed to have been on my side and he didn't hear it.

"Oh, sorry Jasmine. I must have the wrong room. Jade asked me to put this in her room..." he said, holding up my black and red switchblade with the venom green cobra on the case.

_Thank God for Jade. She knew I'd be nervous. But still, sending _him_ up here with it is like saying "Here you go, but don't do it,". Either way, she definitely made it less awkward then it would've been having to pull her aside to ask for it._

"No, this is right. Here, I'll put it away for you. I was using her bathroom because the mirror isn't up in mine yet," I purred, taking the switchblade. It wasn't exactly a lie, my mirror wasn't up yet, but I was in here so it wouldn't look weird when I went to get the blade from her. I could just go down and tell her I needed a little help with my makeup. The mirror was just the way to make it believable had it been necessary. My mirror was on the floor of my bathroom. Perfectly usable.

_Another thing I need to do tomorrow. _I thought irritably. Just then, my inner monologue decided to not be a bitch for once (An amazing feat, I must add) and add something that made me feel just a bit better, although maybe not on purpose. But, with good intentions or otherwise, my brain decided to add it's input. _That is if you even _come_ home tonight._

"Hey Jazz?" Jayy asked, breaking into my thoughts.

"Yeah," I mumbled, putting the blade where I could easily get to it discreetly later, just in case he says "Lets go" after this.

"Do you know if Jade is okay?"

"Why? Is something wrong?" I asked, trying not to sound too worried, but failing miserably.

"No, not really. I was just wondering about that blade. It looks like it's been cleaned with alcohol. Does she..." an pregnant pause filled the air for a few moments until he finally ended his question, "Does she cut?"

"No," I said, sighing in relief, "It's for protection. She keeps it clean with alcohol just in case someone accidentally gets cut on it. She probably used it to open a box earlier and needed to get the glue from the tape off of it," I said casually, mentally reminding myself to grab a few alcohol wipes and put them in my real leather and studded purse. It was made to match the _jacket_, but matched the boots by coincidence as well.

"If you're sure..."

"Jayy," I purred walking over to him and looking him dead in the eyes, "I've known Jade for years. She's never cut in her life. I promise,"

He looked relieved, "Okay. I believe you. I just wanted to make sure she was okay. That's not safe and I don't want your friend to get seriously hurt. Once you cut too deep there's no going back. You can die within a few minutes or a few hours. It all depends on how deep, but no matter what it's not good..."

"Did you know someone that cut? You sound sort of upset..."

"Only like a third of our fans, give or take. Some have even been suicidal," I flinched at the memory and wondered inwardly where my old note went. I kept it around purely to remember my all-time low, when I broke down enough to almost kill myself. The note was in my BoTDF bag as a way of knowing I'm safer now. _Now it will remind me of Jayy. _I thought happily.

"You alright? You got real quiet there, is everything okay?"

"Yeah,"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's just my first crush on a girl had cut a lot. There was a time she wouldn't even eat,"

"Was that the girl you dated?"

"Only in my dreams and fantasies for I don't even know how long. She was straight,"

"Ouch. Been there. It fucking sucks. Actually, I was worried the opposite was the problem tonight when I asked if there'd been girlfriends and when you said you were about to give up on men. I have to admit, it didn't feel good. I was beginning to think Jade was your girlfriend,"

"Nope...Can't say I haven't thought about it though," I laughed.

He smiled, leaning down to kiss my cheek, "Alright, I'll be downstairs, hurry down honey,"

"Alright," I said smiling.

As soon as he was gone, my smile faded. I carefully put on the safety lock on my switchblade, which was an awesome feature by the way, and slipped it in my bra, moving my iPod to my purse with my wallet and tossing in a few alcohol wipes.

When they were safely tucked I away I put on some sexy perfume. _Finally_, _the finishing touches._ I thought happily.

I pulled on my silver cobra necklace with the faux-ruby eyes, my black and green "Live" bracelet on my left hand, and my black choker on and smiled as I looked in the mirror. After one more selfie, this one from farther away thanks to a digital camera with a timer feature so you could see the whole outfit, as well as one on my iPhone, I was satisfied and went downstairs.

"God you look amazing," Jayy purred when I made it to the bottom of the stairs.

"You _just _saw me,"

"I know, but I was attempting not to pay attention to how fucking sexy you were so that I could act like a normal date and compliment you when you came downstairs," he teased, smiling genuinely.

"Well you always look fucking sexy, so no worries there," I smirked.

He laughed and did the same, "Dahvie should be here any minute with my car," Sure enough, a second later a car pulled in our driveway. "_Well speak of the devil_," he said, laughing just that much harder as Dahvie attempted three times to use the doorbell that we had yet to hook up. Finally, I gave up the joke and went to get the door.

Just as I did, Jade smirked and waved me off, "You stay with Jayy. I got it,"

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Go on. Curl up under his arm,"

Jayy laughed, quickly trying to hide his blush. Laughing, I did the same just as quickly, so I ended up curling under his neck and he leaned into my shoulder. Obviously I got more coverage from his neck, but we were too busy laughing and having fun to care.

"That's what I'm talking about," Jade said, nodding in approval as she opened the door.

"Wha-Aww. That's fucking adorable," Dahvie laughed. I felt Jayy's skin heat up and he pressed his face harder into my shoulder.

"Try curling into my neck the way I was hiding in yours," I instructed. As he did so, I felt his smile against the warm crook of my neck, "Good, that's better isn't it?" He nodded, "I thought so. Oh and Dahvie you know we've yet to hook up that doorbell,"

"Yeah, I gathered that," He laughed, "But, then how did you know to answer it?"

"We could _see _you Dahvie, there's window right next to the door," Jayy smirked, pointing to it for full effect.

"Oh. Well that's not the safest idea in the world, is it?"

"No I suppose not, but it works," Jade managed through her laughter.

"Anyway we should get going," Jayy laughed, "Mind if we drop Dahvie at our place first?"

"I had Jeffree drive my car here so you two could get going,"

"Thanks man,"

"Oh shit, let me go grab the keys,"

"I'll go with you," Jayy mumbled. I figured that meant he wanted to talk to Dahvie, but I ignored it and walked quickly over to Jade.

"Thanks for my switchblade," I said gratefully.

"No problem. I wish you wouldn't though,"

"I'll try, but it's better to use something clean than something I find in the bathroom. That's why I keep it around with a few wipes,"

"Are you gonna tell Jayy?"

"Not yet, but, if we do what I think we might tonight, I may not have a choice,"

"Just be safe. I know it's your eighteenth birthday and I remember mine, well kind of, so I can't really yell at you. Just be careful, that's all,"

"Thanks Jade, but I won't do anything stupid. And I won't let him do anything I don't want either,"

"Make him wear a condom,"

"I will,"

"Good," She said, satisfied that I didn't argue, "By the way we need some code for blade and cutting,"

"What? As in like 'Did you cut yourself?'"

"Yeah, so like in that situation I can ask 'Did you finish unpacking?'"

"Right and if I left my blade at home I can say 'I think I left a few boxes behind.'"

"Works for now. Once we're settled-"

"I might tell him tonight," I said checking behind me. He wasn't there, "I plan to have told him by then if it's anything serious,"

"Told me what?" Jayy asked gently. _Damn he walks fast._

"Something that's only true if it's serious," I said, knowing his guessing skills.

"What, like I love you?"

"Yes. She was asking how much I liked you and when I said a lot we started talking about what you said earlier,"

"I totally called that," Dahvie laughed, remembering, "And if I'm correct I also said you didn't need to worry about it,"

"Still, it's not something that you can just shrug off,"

"Sorry, I've been more than a little obsessed lately. I guess I wanted to just say it and not have to worry about the consequences, so I said it quick when I knew I had to leave," Jayy mumbled apologetically.

I smirked, "No worries Jayy. Don't stress yourself. We were just two teenagers gossiping about things that are, thus far, insignificant. Now maybe after a while it'll be more relevant, but not yet. So let's not worry about it, okay?"

"Sure," He purred, quickly recovering and wrapping me into him so he could kiss in my hair.

"Stop it, I didn't have time to shower since before the concert. You were already here and I didn't want to make you wait too long,"

"You smell beautiful,"

"That's called perfume,"

"Yeah well, whilst you were up there he put some cologne on so try not to get too close. He doesn't know when to _stop_," Jade teased.

"No guy does," he said, playfully defending himself, as well as giving me a minor warning that, as far as I could tell, was no accident. He'd cocked one eyebrow when he said it and, as if he'd read my mind he mumbled in my ear, "I'm sure you already know, but I figured I'd warn you, what with all the guys in our house, that if and when you do go there it will probably smell like a aerosol can died and is rotting away in there," he then pulled away, happily keeping his strong arm wrapped around me.

"Alright, I'll have her home sometime tomorrow,"

"Jayy, she needs to know what time. We have cable coming tomorrow,"

"No hurry,"

"She'll be home by three because there's a few things I'd like to show her, seen as though it's late and she's tired. If you don't mind, I might just bring you to our house.," He said turning the conversation back, "You don't have to go to bed, but just in case you get tired, there's a bed nearby,"

"Umm Jazz..." Jade asked nervously, trying not to give me away. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay sleeping there?"

"We won't hurt her," Dahvie and Jayy laughed.

"I know, but...Well she knows what I mean,"

"It's okay. I don't mind telling them," I said softly, quickly becoming self-conscious. "I can't sleep without someone nearby. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend a few weeks ago." I sighed, "I've had to sleep with a teddy bear just so I can get any rest at all. I'm just not used to sleeping alone yet,"

"Still don't know how you slept with someone, but didn't kiss,"

"We didn't _sleep _together. Well...Actually that's exactly what we did. That's _all_ we did. She had no place to go and-"

"Alright, alright. It's _okay_..." he soothed, "I'm just playing. _Relax... _I'm _sorry..." _He pulled gently into the crook of his neck, "_Relax..."_

"I'm not upset... Just _nervous _that's all," I whimpered, secretly loving the feel of the gentle kisses I was getting on my neck. He knew just how to make me feel good. _I thought he said he hasn't been with a girl in a while._

As if reading my mind, Dahvie smirked and asked, "He knows just the right spot doesn't he?" I nodded, cocking one eyebrow. "It _has_ been a while since I've seen him with a girl, but he's a man, he knows the spot by instinct and he still would even if he was turned off by women altogether,"

"I bet you're getting pretty tired," Jayy mumbled against my skin, ignoring him.

"How much?" I teased.

"As many singles and fives that'll fit in your bra and underwear," he laughed.

My jaw dropped as I laughed hard with him, "Say _that_ to the wrong person,"

"Good thing I'm a good judge of character. But we should get going. You seem tired and if I'm gonna manage to get you to my place then I've got to get you out of here soon,"

I smiled, "Alright, I'll see you later Jade,"

"Alright, see you tomorrow. And you!" She turned and growled at Jayy, "Don't touch her when she's asleep. And you'd better be safe,"

"Yes ma'am. But dammit, you ruined the _surprise_," Jayy whined. As my eyes widened, he simply purred, "I meant that I was planning to sleep with you, and you can decide for yourself what I mean by that, if you don't mind. This way you can get some actual sleep,"

"Yeah, that's why. I guarantee you were planning on it down here with Jade while she was still getting ready," Dahvie laughed.

"Yeah..." Jayy laughed, "But it's up to you...If you _want _to..." he asked me.

"Pwease" I said in a baby voice.

"Sure," he purred, looking ready to brag at any given moment.

We walked gently out to the car and he laid me down in the back seat and sat up front.

As I went to grab the nearby blanket off the floor, he smirked and said, "You _may_ not want to use that. I can't account for the substances on the fabric. I _can_ promise that neither I, nor anyone who's touched that seat or this car or that blanket had any STD's at the time. But this is still the car of a gay, or, rather, bisexual 21 year old _man_. So watch yourself," he laughed.

I smirked and relaxed gently in his seat, "Anyone interesting recently?"

"You're the first since, what, last year?" he laughed, nerves evident under the laugh.

Chapter Five

"So what, you've been celibate for seven months?"

"Six, but I've...Umm...Well I haven't exactly gone _without_ per_se, _but,"

"Oh..._Oh!_ I'm sorry," I whispered.

He laughed, "Don't be. If I'm going to do only _that_ for half a year, I've got to be prepared to answer a question or two here and there," he smiled, turning back towards me, "You comfortable?" he laughed, teasingly as he saw me contentedly letting my eyes drift closed as I sprawled out on his back seat.

"Mm-hmm,"

"Good. You know you _can_ sleep there, if you want,"

"No I can't. I already told you. I can't sleep without someone next to me. By the way, whilst I'm still conscious, I'm sorry if I start cuddling into you when I fall asleep,"

"Why would you apologize for that?"

"Because my grip is _tight_ when I'm asleep. Probably three times what it is now,"

"I'm sure I can handle it. Anyway, I'll bet you anything I won't even _want _to get away,"

"Alright, just so you know. Oh, and please ignore what I say when I'm asleep. I talk in my sleep and I mumble weird things. Or so my boyfriends have told me. They say I mumbled 'I love you' just before I fell into a deep sleep, and that's how they knew I was out."

"Hmm... Interesting. I'll let you know in the morning if they lied or not. And I'll inform you of any _other _interesting habits so you can fairly decide if you ever wish for me to see you in your vulnerable form again. Still, they all sound pretty mild," He added gently, "I think I can take it. Well, so long as I don't die from the _cuteness_ of it all,"

_God he's hot when he teases me. I fucking love it._

Finally, when we'd talked about everything under the sun, or, rather, the moon, or about half an hour (Don't question my logic), he parked the car.

"_Wow,"_ I said, amazed, "It's _huge,_"

"Yes, yes. Everybody's first response. It won't seem so big once you go in. About seven people have to fit in that house at any given time. Plus Dahvie's girlfriend, you, and-"

"Me?"

"Yes you. And-"

"Are you trying to move me in already?"

"Attempting to," he purred.

"Just making sure," I laughed shrugging it off laughing.

"Alright. May I continue?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Okay. Seven people, Dahvie's girlfriend, _you_," he said, emphasizing 'you' and waiting a few seconds to see if I'd react. When I didn't, he shrugged and continued, "As well as any guests we have over,"

"Or any... er _guests_ you have over,"

"Right. Well not _me_, but-"

"Yes we covered _that_,"

He laughed, "I suppose so,"

We walked in with his arm around me gently enough that I loved it, but tightly enough to both keep track of me and keep me from falling over from sleep deprivation.

"C'mon. Let's go get you laid down. I can go let 'em know we're here after that, but I just want to get you laying down first," he said, aiming towards a large set of stairs, "There's a guest room upstairs if you want or my room is right down this hallway," he said, pointing to a nearby hall, "Which one would you rather sleep in?"

"Are you _nuts?"_Dahvie laughed, obviously on something.

"He's drunk," Jayy mumbled, "Why?" he asked as he turned to Dahvie.

"Because she's your girlfriend and-"

"What?" I asked in shock. _When did I agree to that?! We _just_ started dating!_

"Ignore him, he's drunk. I never said that and tomorrow, if I tell him, _he'll_ apologize. For now, I'm sorry."

I whimpered and hid into his chest, as this was a big house and I didn't know how many other drunk guys were walking around here and I only knew that Jayy would protect me. Even if I was mortified that I was already being called his girlfriend.

_He's drunk, don't worry about it._ A part of me said. _And so what? Maybe he wants you to be. Would that be so bad?_

Maybe it wouldn't. But still, I wasn't ready for that. And Jayy didn't seem to plan on making me stay close enough to Dahvie to hear it again.

"Why do you think I'm nuts?" Jayy said, obviously knowing this side of Dahvie.

"Because you're trying to take your-"

"I swear to God Dahvie, if you call her my girlfriend before she's ready again I _am _going to flip. So I would choose your next words carefully," Jayy warned.

"Fine, you're trying to take _Jasmine_ to the _guest bedroom?_ For God's sake, let her sleep in your room."

"I was asking because I didn't know if that was what she wanted. I'm not exactly the perfect gentleman and she knows that. I figured give her the option so I don't end up hurting or upsetting her,"

"Can we please go to your room Jayy? Please? Or at least will you show me where it is?"

"Right down that hall, third door on your left. I'll be just a minute,"

"Okay, I'll be in there then." I turned to leave, but turned back. "Please don't tell him tomorrow." I whispered nervously.

"Okay sweetie. Lay down please though. I don't want you to be passed out on the floor, that won't look so good if someone stumbled into the wrong bedroom," I laughed softly and he smiled. "You _do_ know I'm only partially joking, right?"

"I figured as much," I laughed gently, getting him to smirk again.

"I'll be in soon babe. If you can't find it, come get me okay?"

"Yep." He kissed me and I walked off in search of his room.

I found it and a pack of cigarettes on his bed and vaguely remembered him wondering 'where the fuck' they went. I put them on his nightstand and tried not to imagine what else was in his room. However, I saw air freshener in the corner and took a shot in the dark by the smell of the room that it's been sprayed recently. I laid down in the bed and, as I laid my head into the pillow, I melt remnants of his cologne. It smelled like him and I liked it. The smell relaxed me somehow, just like in his back seat.

_Weird..._

A minute later I started feeling something poke me and I remembered the lipstick and blade.

_Shit! Where am I supposed to hide a fucking _switchblade_? I guess I'm either telling him tonight or waiting until he's asleep. I prefer waiting, I don't want to ruin a good thing yet._

So, as he walked in, I let the case of my pocketknife poke me, whilst I laid with my lipstick on his bed and my purse on the floor in front of me.

"You are so fucking cute," he mumbled under his breath.

"Heard that," I said, mimicking his words from earlier, "So are you, you know."

He laughed, "Not half as much as you," he said, smiling, "Can I lay with you?"

"No, sleep on the floor in your own room," I teased sarcastically, "Of course, come here,"

"I-...I-..." he sighed, "I have to take my contacts out...but I can't with you awake. I'm a little self-conscious when it comes to my eyes, so... I'd prefer just waiting until you're asleep... Will it wake you?" When I shook my head no he added, "But don't you have to take those out?"

"I will if you will,"

"I can't. Come on, I've seen your eye color. You haven't seen mine,"

"Myspace," was my simple reply.

"Alright, you haven't seen mine in real life_," _he laughed.

"Seriously, please. Don't you know you can trust me?"

"Yeah..." he sighed, "Alright. I'll take 'em out. But no 'aww you're so cute' when I do, got it?"

"Yes, but can I think it?"

"Anything that I can't see or hear, I don't mind."

"Fair enough, I'll take mine out at the same so you don't get nervous from me watching you."

We both took our contacts out and, despite how adorable he did look, I refrained from telling him so and we both put our contacts away and didn't worry about them afterwards. He laid down gently with me, letting me look him dead in the eyes.

"Can I-"

"What," He asked as I leaned over him, "Oh...Yeah..."

"Relax, or prepare to be disappointed, depending on what type of guy you are," I laughed, "I only wanna cuddle. If it does go anywhere else, let it happen, but, for now, that's not what I mean to accomplish,"

He smirked and let his arm slide around me. "Dammit," he mumbled, teasing me playfully. How he was still wide awake, or even awake enough to remain playful is beyond me.

"You're so sweet," I purred smiling and kissing him on his cheek, "Whoops," I laughed, "Black lipstick does _not _like to come off. Here, I'll get it,"

He smirked all the while, not really minding the lipstick, but loving the way I was acting, as if he wasn't wearing makeup right now. As if he'd never dealt with black lipstick, either from him or helping Dahvie get it off.

As I pulled out an alcohol wipe, I realized my mistake. I'd gotten the lipstick off, but his eyes were starting to widen. And my switchblade case was poking out of my dress. Tears filled my eyes, but he was too afraid to soothe me.

"What the fuck were you going to do with that?!" Jayy hissed, fear clouding his vision, along with anger.

"Not what you think," I whimpered, beginning to cry.

Chapter Six

"Well then what '_were' _you trying to do?"

"What do you think I would try and stab you or something?"

"Well it might help explain why you wanted my contacts out. Now I have no reason to stay up after you,"

"That's '_not'_ why I carry it,"

"No that's right, it's Jade's and it's for '_protection'"_ He growled making air-quotes, "I've had creeps do some messed up things, but you're fucking nuts!"

"Please don't jump to conclusions," I begged softly.

"Fine. Why do you have it? Tell me, if it's not what I think, then what exactly _is _it?!"

I pulled off my jacket and my leggings, letting my boots fall on the floor, not caring how much I'd just torn up the leggings. I'd get new ones. I didn't want to remember this night anyway.

His eyes widened as he saw the reddened skin around some of the cuts on my thigh, "These are recent,"

"Yeah, they are. So are these," I growled, letting him see the four new reddened scars on my forearm, "Happy now?"

Apology flowed through his eyes, "You...-"

"That's why my hands were red when I came out of the bathroom. I wasn't wearing any red makeup,"

"No..." he growled, his eyes dark with understanding.

"Yes. Now if you'd excuse me, I've gotta call myself a ride home because it's fucking," I checked my phone, "12:37 in the fucking morning and I've gotta fucking hope Jade's awake. If not, I'm screwed. But whatever, doesn't matter. I don't matter. I'm _NUTS_." I hissed, crying as I threw it in his face that he'd snapped too soon.

"I-...I-... I'm sorry. If you'd like to go, you don't need a ride home. I'll take you," he sighed, dipping his head.

"Well why wouldn't I?" I growled, my anger fading quickly into tears, "It's not like you want anything to do with me...No one does after I tell them. Why do you think I'm single again?"

"You think I'd leave you for this? Is that what you think of me?"

"Why not? That's how it worked with everyone else. Only Jade doesn't think I'm a psycho because of it. I might have ADHD, but I'm not sure. All I know is that the littlest trigger sets me off, as you've just witnessed,"

"I was accusing you of wanting to '_stab'_ me. I called you nuts without any proof. And hit more close to home than I wanted to. Or even thought I could. It wasn't exactly a 'little trigger'. But I wouldn't leave you because you '_cut'_. Just because I said some dumb things that I regret are you gonna dump '_me' _?"

"No..."

"So what the fuck is the difference?"

"Ask all of my exes. Why do you think I barely date? Why do you think I have only a handful of friends? It's not just because I'm an outcast, that was always true of me. Yet people admired me for not giving a shit what bullies thought," I said, crying. I began to yell, "But how does someone not care when people call you names!? How do you cope when all people do is spread rumors about you?! When they point and laugh and point out every flaw you have to your face!?" I was screaming now, "How can I not care!?," I begged. Noticing how loud I was, I quieted myself, forcing my numbing shield that allowed no emotions to come back around me. "So this was how I coped." I whispered. "So I could keep playing that intimidating girl who just doesn't give a fuck. People always asked me, 'How do you do it?' and when I'd tell them, they'd leave me behind. Calling me a freak, calling me _nuts!_" I yelled, slamming a bottle of Jack with my fist and breaking it everywhere, simultaneously making blood pour out of my hand, the alcohol burning the cut. Calming myself again, I spoke quietly, "So I stopped telling people how. Because I didn't _know_ how not to care. I am, was and always will be _fake!_" I yelled, sliding out my blade, "A _freak!_" I screamed and popped the safety off, careful not to break it, even in my current state. Cutting my already bloody knuckles I finished my rant, "I will always be _**Nuts!**_" I screamed.

Disgusted with myself and what I'd done, I pulled out a wipe, cleaned my blade and threw the bloody wipe in my purse with the closed and locked blade.

I can't remember immediately after that. The next thing I can remember is somehow ending up in Jayy's arms, bleeding all over him, whilst all the other guys came rushing into the room, sobered by my screams.

Sometime in between the gap of memory loss I'd had, Jayy must've moved that bloody rag because, when I got scared and pulled away from him, running into the bathroom I'd noticed earlier and closing the door, I found the used wipe in the garbage. I took a picture of it, being the masochist that I am, and let it stay there as I locked the bathroom door and hid.

"Jas? Jasmine, please let me take care of you," Dahvie whimpered, tapping on the door.

"She won't listen, she barely made it through telling me what she just did. Hopefully I can calm her," Jayy mumbled from outside the door, "Because I can't stand the thought of her hurting herself." Jayy's voice sounded off and so did his breathing. '_Is he _crying _over me?'_

"Please, baby. Please come out. Or let me in there. I know you're not actually going to the bathroom, so please. I need to clean that cut before you bleed to death," He said that part softly, as if the thought terrified him. "'_Please'_..." he begged, his voice barely a whisper.

"Only...You..." I managed quietly through my tears.

"Dahvie?"

"Don't ask me! Help her! I don't care if she only wants you. That's perfectly reasonable. I can bet the only reason she ran is because too many people who's been full-on drunk moments before ran in when she was at her weakest," Dahvie said, sounding a little ticked off at Jayy's response, or so I figured.

"Alright. Unlock the door, it's only me coming in, okay?" Jayy mumbled, his voice higher by a couple octaves and much sweeter than last he'd spoken to me.

I gave him no verbal response, I simply unlocked the door. When he walked in, his eyes widened at the cut I'd cleaned. Then he calmed down, leaned down to kiss me and mumbled.

"Now that's my girl. Listen sweetie, I've got peroxide I need to put on it. It's gonna hurt, but I need to, so if you want you can squeeze my other hand," he said gently, giving me his hand after he'd coated a large cotton ball with the hydrogen peroxide.

I took it contentedly, but that meant nothing. After my little outburst, I'd simply gone into my numb, apathetic, emotionless state. But the peroxide hurt like hell, so I whimpered and squeezed his hand hard with my good one. He seemed calmed by the fact that I was holding his hand, but didn't say anything but "That's it honey," "It's okay," and "Don't worry, you're fine," until the job was done.

When it was, he kissed me again, took his hand back apologetically, and rummaged in the cabinet until he pulled out a large roll of medical bandage and a bag of little silver clips. He rolled up my hand and clipped it, asking me to go in his room and call Jade and tell her what happened, then let him know if she wanted me home or if she'd let me stay here. Because I'd made it perfectly clear, even whilst he bandaged my bleeding hand and wiped away the few tears that had yet to dry onto my face, that I wanted to stay here.

Still, he thought it might be best that I gave her some warning and knowledge of what I'd done and let her know why I'd have a bandaged and badly scarred hand when I returned. As if she wouldn't know.

I called her and, although she begged me to tell her that I was okay, which I was, she told me that she didn't own me and, so long as I '_was'_ okay and I trusted '_everyone'_ here, she wasn't going to try and make me come home.

"I'm sorry for that. Is it still okay if I spend the night?" I asked Dahvie and the rest of the gang.

Dahvie simply said, "I can't speak for Jayy or Jade, but this is mine and Jayy's house. Everyone else does have a house of their own. So it's half of a yes. I'm perfectly fine with you staying here. Every once in a while we all have an outburst or two, okay? Try not to damage the house, but I have no problems with you and I have no intentions of forcing you into some padded room and telling you to stay away from my house and my friend. That just isn't me. But, with that said, it's Jayy's house too and you are technically '_his'_ guest, so it's also half his decision, okay?"

"Alright. And, even in that state, I'm careful not to break important things so I won't destroy the house. If I get upset and angry I usually aim it at something small, the half-full Jack bottle on the floor being an example. I knew the ones on the walls were empty and washed out, therefore probably decoration. '_That's'_ why I didn't touch '_them'_."

"Well, so long as Jayy's okay with it, I don't mind you staying,"

"Of course I don't mind," Jayy said, hugging me from behind to let me know he was there. He kissed my cheek gently, seeming fully recovered from the state he'd been in before. "But it's one in the morning and, after what just happened, I think we could use a fresh start. So I think we outta get to bed,"

"And we should probably get home," One the guys admitted, "As long as you're okay,"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you. I just got...er...Well upset. Even though I barely know him, I guess I fear losing Jayy more than I thought. So, when I though he was gonna leave me, I guess I just lost it," '_Leave it to me to turn what just happened into something sweet. Hell, leave it to me to turn an innocent, happy day into what just happened'. _

Jayy kissed me and mumbled sweetly, "It's not your fault, but please know I have more depth than just to leave you for something like that," He rubbed my cheek softly with his thumb, holding my face in one hand.

"Alright, new rule. You're not allowed to say something like that without getting kissed,"

He laughed, "No arguments here,"

"I thought not," I said, happily kissing him for, like, three seconds straight. I might've kept going if it hadn't been for Dahvie's "'Aww', two lovebirds in their natural habitat. How sweet,"

Jayy and I laughed and we all calmed down.

When Jayy got into bed with me this time he purred, "There you are. Makeup's gone, contacts out. Good thing nobody noticed they were out before. I didn't exactly have time to put them back in before they all ran in," He smiled and kissed me.

"Alright, my turn. I feel like I'm a mess. Be honest now, am I?"

"Honestly? A little,"

I gave him a quick mock-punch in the chest and kissed him hard. He moaned in my mouth and I felt my body heat up at the sound.

"Wait, wait. Let me clean up first. I feel like I'm a mess and you confirmed it," I whispered in his ear as I pulled back.

But he growled, pulled me back into him and kissing me harder and deeper. This time it was me moaning in 'his' mouth. But his body gave a more definite response than mine. I felt him harden and my body reacted quickly. Or tried to. Because, the second I noticed what he was doing to me, I pulled.

"I don't care, I '_don't' _want to hear it and I do '_not'_ want to stop," He growled in a husky, lust-filled voice.

"Too bad. I feel ugly. If you don't let me go, I'm going to sleep. Not to bed, to sleep. And don't talk to me like that. Those words are the enemy of pillow talk,"

To be honest, I didn't care how he'd just spoken to me. But I '_did'_ need him to let me go. Besides, despite the fact that I '_did'_, for some reason, get turned on by the way he'd tried to own me, I'd always been taught that that wasn't how women were supposed to be treated, especially by men.

"Fine," he growled in a low tone, "Go shower. But I'm warning you now, I have the key to the bathroom right here and I'll prove it." he walked over to the bathroom with me and asked me to go in, "Now lock it," I did and, sure enough, he put the key in and opened the door, smirking proudly as he walked in. But his erection was still very present. "The point of this was to let you know that, should you take to long, I'm coming in and taking you right in here. Understand?"

I nodded, laughing as he kissed the fuck out of me all the way to his room, knowing exactly where he was going just by touch and experience. "Stop trying to seduce me," I ordered.

"I'm a dom, not a sub, if anything. So don't try to control me," he warned playfully.

"Nice to know. I don't care, I'm not your sub,"

"Yet,"

"Yet. So until I am, kindly allow me to do what I wish with my body and keep your personal desires out of it," I said, smiling evilly.

"So you have plans to become my sub?" he clarified.

"If that's what you're into. It '_was'_ sort of hot, the way you acted like you owned me,"

"Oh was it now?" he asked, giving the the devilish glare and mischievous smirk I knew so well.

A second later, I was under him, with that devilish lust-filled gaze just a few inches from my own.

"Does '_this'_ turn you on, my little sub?" he asked in a sexy deep voice.

"Not '_yet' _I'm not," I laughed at him.

"God Jayy, let her shower," Dahvie laughed.

"When did he get there?" I asked, leaving the question open.

"Just before 'So you have plans to become my sub'," Dahvie laughed, "I was on my way to the bathroom. But, for God's sake, let her shower. I'll have to wash out my ears now anyway," he said smirking.

"He's playing," Jayy purred as fear shot through my eyes and I opened my mouth to apologize, "The sounds of sex echo in the walls here. If you pay attention, you can hear a man or woman's moan during the night from at least four bedrooms away and, if anyone's up in the guest bedroom, you can feel every shake and you can hear the echos of the headboard being hit. That's why both of _our_ bedrooms are downstairs. So that nobody has to feel the furniture shake unless you're the one shaking it,"

I flinched at the dirty image that gave me of what Jayy and I might do later and dipped my head into Jayy's chest in shame for loving it. It was only the first night after all. I shouldn't be fucking him yet anyway. Nonetheless, he wanted it and so did I, so chances were it was happening tonight.

"Alright, now I need to wash my ears out. Let me up Jayy,"

"You naughty, naughty little sub," he purred in a fake aristocrat's voice, shaking his head. "Thinking you can speak to me in such tones and with such disrespectful manner. Tsk tsk tsk."

"Not sub yet, Jayy,"

"So you keep telling me,"

"It's true,"

"Mm-hmm," he said stifling a laugh at the knowledge that this was killing me so much.

"Stop it..." I whined.

"Do not whine in my presence," he said, still not dropping the accent.

"In all seriousness, I will '_not'_ fuck you if you don't lose the accent,"

"Fine," he laughed, his voice back to that low, husky, sexy tone that turned me on so much. "But watch it," he said, evilly smirking and cocking one eyebrow whilst swinging the key to his bathroom.

"Is that really your bathroom key?" Dahvie asked, pretending to be both shocked at and ashamed of Jayy.

"Yes. He already proved '_that'_,"

"You can use the one in the hall, if you want. He can't get in that one because there '_is'_ no key and it's a different lock than his bathroom,"

"No thanks. I'll be okay in his, but thank you and I make no promises that I won't take that offer into account on later dates,"

"Works for me. If you don't want to use it though, I prefer to shower in this bathroom for that exact reason. No key. '_Just' _in case."

"Okay. Doesn't seem like Jayy's lettin' go of his key any time soon anyway, so, if someone comes in, I can safely figure it's him,"

"Alright Jas. Goodnight. Although, that saying may be unnecessary. You're certainly not going to sleep any time soon anyway. Watch him afterwards though. He, much like myself, gets '_very'_ cuddly,"

"Oh '_does'_ he?" I asked teasingly, laughing as Jayy blushed.

"Yes, he doesn't like to admit it, and he'll probably say it's for you if you ask him, but he really just loves to cuddle," Dahvie laughed.

"Don't worry Jayy," I purred, "I think it's sweet,"

"Well I'm going to control my cuddly nature until you fuck me, so '_ha'!_"

"Don't use sex to punish me, Jayy. You won't like the result. And certainly don't act as though cuddling is some sort of a '_reward' _for me either,"

"I'm not. Cuddling is '_my'_ reward. If you enjoy it too, then we're golden. If not, use my obsession against me. It's fine. Manipulate me with cuddling. So long as I get to cuddle, I don't care how, why, or what I have to do to earn it,"

"Okay, '_that's' _sweet. I 'told' you, you cannot say sweet things without getting kissed," I said, smiling and kissing him on the cheek.

"Fine by me," he laughed, pulling me into his kiss roughly. I moaned hard into his mouth and he chuckled, pulling back and helping me breathe by rubbing my back softly, "Alright, Alright. Towels are in the bathroom closet, use the black one so you can see any recent '_stains'_," he hinted, laughing gently, "Why don't you go on in the shower and relax, I'll be in soon," he said, showing off his sexy little smirk as he did so.

Laughing, I mumbled softly, "Great, the first time he sees me, I'm under florescent lights,"

"There's a mood light switch in there too," he teased. "But what's up with you and florescents?"

"They show every detail, every flaw,"

"There are flaws in this perfection? You've gotta be kiddin' me."

"Stop it, I'm serious."

"Well, I can't help it. It's hard to fathom anything but perfection within this beauty,"

"You '_know'_ what I mean. And I'm certainly not perfect, even besides that,"

"What '_do'_ you mean?" Dahvie asked softly and I realized he hadn't seen my forearm yet and certainly wasn't watching my thighs. Not that I was complaining. '_I'd prefer to only have Jayy's eyes on me, thank you very much.'_

"Nothing," Jayy covered for me.

"No, don't Jayy. It's okay, if you trust him, I can." When Jayy nodded gently, I continued, turning back to Dahvie, "I-I cut myself. I did it in the bathroom at the concert too. That's why I freaked out in here earlier," the volume of my voice dropped significantly and I couldn't look at Dahvie, "He-" I sighed, "Jayy found my blade." I murmured as tears began to fall.

"I'm sorry..."

"Not your fault. It's mine."

"No it's '_not'!_" Dahvie growled, his voice dropping to a whimper. "It's not your fault,"

"Dahvie, what's the real reason you're so nervous?"

"Too many of our fans have dealt with this, but..." He sighed, "'_Now'_ it's personal. For both me '_and'_ Jayy. But especially him. He really loves you. How won't tell you yet...but he does,"

"Thanks Dahvie. I won't tell him yet either...but I really love him too," I said, smiling as I looked back at Jayy, "But he's right. I really do have to get in the shower. Even '_he' _admitted I'm a bit of a mess. That means it's worse than I thought."

"Besides, you need to get out of those bloody clothes. You can borrow something of mine, '_if you wanna'_." he laughed, raising one eyebrow as my eyes widened. He knew how much I loved his style. "Take anything,"

"You sure?"

"Why not? It only insures that I get to see you again, at least to get my shirt. Matter-of-fact, I wouldn't care if you took the shirt off my back."

"That's because you'd be able to take your shirt off right in front of me,"

"No, it's because I'd get to '_leave'_ my shirt off in front of you,"

"Fair enough, either way, I'll worry about it tomorrow. I don't think you honestly have clothes in the plan for tonight anyway,"

"No, not really. Even if we're just cuddling, I see no need leave you stuck in that bloody t-shirt."

"W-Wait. '_T-shirt'?_ I came here wearing a dress."

"Yes, I changed you, in the dark I might add, into that so no blood would get on your dress."

"Which reminds me why I came down here. I didn't want to dry it, so I hung it up, this way it wouldn't shrink. All of the blood came out fine," Dahvie said.

I looked at Jayy nervously, "I didn't say the idea '_worked'_. I '_said'_ it was the idea I '_had'_."

I laughed and went to the shower in Jayy's bathroom.

Sure enough, after a few minutes, I heard the door open. "Jayy? Jayy? Jayy I know it's you, stop scaring me please!,"

"Alright," The low sexy voice purred in my ear as he pulled his arms around my wet, naked body.

"Honey?" I begged. I shook, not used to touch on my bare skin and not having had been aware that he was so close.

"Sorry, didn't mean to frighten you." He let go and took a few paces back, turning off the florescent lights and turning on what looked like a heat lamp, "I know what it looks like, but I just took some stain and stained the glass this dark pinkish-red. It's just another light," he mumbled in my ear as he wrapped his arms around my waist, ducking his head into my neck just like you see in the movies. Now I know why the women moan so loud when that happens. It feel so sexy and it made me feel so bad which made me feel really '_good'_.

Moaning so loud he chuckled in my ear, I whispered softly, "Jayy...I'm busy. And it's late."

"Don't make excuses,"

"Let me have '_one'_,"

"Alright fine, impress me,"

"I only need one number and two letters. Two AM,"

"I don't even need a number. I can do with just three letters. IDC,"

"Too bad Jayy,"

"And technically it's two thirty five," Jayy mumbled right in my ear. Then he went right back to my neck.

"All the more reason Jayy. I need to go to bed,"

"That's what I'm tryin' for," Jayy mumbled into the skin of my neck.

"Jayy no. And '_that's'_ final,"

"Oh '_is'_ it?"

"'_Yes'._"

"Oh alright '_fine'_," he growled. He picked me up in his arms, bridal style and buck naked and carried me to his room, flopping me onto his bed, my arms pinned about my head.

I whimpered as he pinned, "J-Jayy p-please. Don't," I begged, tears beginning to well up in my eyes.

"Oh honey I'm sorry. I'm just playin'." he mumbled, kissing gently on the inside of each of my eyes, right where the tears were about to fall from. "Please don't cry. I don't even care if you hate me, just please don't cry,"

"Why would she be crying?" Dahvie growled, standing just outside the door, his hands over his eyes. "You have two seconds to cover anything you don't want me to see Jayy. As for you, Jas, I promise I won't look,"

"Th-Thank you,"

"No problem. Cover up if you're nervous. One miss-iss-ip-pi," he counted, real slowly for me, "Two miss-iss-ip-pi. That's it, I'm coming in,"

I didn't mind, I'd covered up the second I'd heard Dahvie's voice. Jayy, however, barely covered himself in time.

"Now what in the fucking hell did you do to her to make her cry. Oh. Nevermind," he sighed, seeing my towel still in the running shower, the curtain still wide open.

Meanwhile Jayy was still apologizing in my ear, "I really didn't mean it. I wish you wouldn't hate me, but I understand if you do,"

"I could never hate you. You just scared me, that's all,"

"Thank God. I lov-Well I care about you. I don't want you to be mad at me. If you really want to go to bed, I'll let you."

I didn't have a response to that one. I didn't want to be forced, but I wasn't sure if I didn't want to at all, either.

"It's no problem honey. Can we cuddle though?"

"Sure, can I use the blanket to put some fabric between us, just for a little while? Until I'm comfortable being naked here?"

"Or at all," Jayy teased, "I know you've never done this before. You don't have to worry and you certainly don't have to hide the fact that you're scared. Up until tonight, or last night, I guess, you'd never kissed anyone. And I put you through hell three times today, that's three times too many. And that's only the times I know about,"

I cuddled into him, realized how sweet he sounded, and kissed him until I felt him moan in my mouth. Then, thoroughly satisfied with the hardness I could feel beginning to poke at my waist, I nuzzled under his neck, kissing, sucking, and biting on a little spot until he moaned out loud.

Dahvie laughed, "'Atta girl,"

"I have no intentions of torturing him you know,"

"I know, hence 'Atta girl',"

I smirked, "No promises of what you'll see if you stay," Jayy laughed at that one and, just before Dahvie could close the door all the way, I purred "You know I was kidding right?"

"Yes, don't feel guilty."

"I'll try, but..." I trailed off and Jayy kissed my cheek and pinned me, nuzzling my neck.

"Night Dahvie," Jayy laughed.

"Night!" I called.

"You two have fun. Goodnight. See you in the morning. In his shirt I'm betting," Dahvie laughed, closing the door.

"One sec," Jayy purred into my neck. He slid open a drawer, not caring that I could obviously see his boner through his boxers, and pulled out a sock, "Old school trick. It's what people used to do in hotels to let the housekeepers not to bug them. In this case it's to let any '_guests' _know that this is '_not'_ the bathroom. And that is no joke, someone walked in on me doing you-know-what before, thinking this was the bathroom. I nearly killed them. And died at the same time. Now that I think about it, that was really embarrassing." he hung the sock on the outside handle of the door and closed the door again, "But enough talk, let's get down to it," he smirked, walking over to the bed and nuzzling into my neck gently.

Chapter Seven

"Jayy," I laughed, "Get off my neck...Four fucking times in one night. I am beat,"

"I know, I know, but you feel so _good_," he whined.

"No, I've been saying no since you tried the _first_ time,"

"So what's one more yes gonna hurt?"

"My pussy. I'm done," I laughed, rolling on my side.

"If you roll away from me, I won't sleep in this bed and you won't be able to sleep at all. Now _please?_ At least _kiss_ me," he whined.

"Is that _all_ it's gonna take?"

"Unless you beg for more,"

"Jayy," I warned teasingly, "It's five AM. I am in no mood for this,"

"Fine. Just one kiss. Three full seconds,"

"Two,"

"Deal," he laughed, rolling me on top of him so my chest pressed to his. We kissed for much longer than two seconds, much longer than three. Probably more like ten. But, eventually, I pulled back, breathing heavily, and he laid me on his chest, rubbing my back and cuddling with me as I fell asleep.

"I love you," I mumbled tiredly.

Chuckling, he purred in my ear, "I love you too,"

"Baby..." A soft, sweet voice whispered in my ear.

"Jade it's too fucking early,"

"Try again," the voice purred. "Let me give you a hint, four times."

"Hmm? What _are _you talking about?"

"It's me sweetheart." Jayy chuckled, not able to keep himself from laughing.

As I finally gave way to consciousness, I realized I'd snapped at Jayy. "I-I'm sorry. I was tired,"

"Now, now. It's fine. If you jump out of bed right now I'll see whatever imperfections you've managed to hide from me thus far. But it's ten AM and I wanted to know if you want food, because I'm hungry and, if you want something too, I know a place we can go. Because, trust me, you don't want me to try and cook,"

"Okay... Let me get dressed though please."

"Alright, but you weren't lying about the super-tight grip thing. Can you loosen it up so I can go get ready too?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, loosening my grip enough that he could escape. I shivered at the cold feeling of being naked without his body to warm me. Freezing, I pulled the blanket up more and nuzzled into the warm spot where he'd been laying a moment ago.

"You need the bathroom? If not, I'm gonna go shower because I still have cum on me,"

"Mine or yours?"

"I'd assume both, but stop worrying. I wore a condom, where do you think those odd sensations came from? I don't know what they put on those things and I'm not entirely sure I want to,"

I laughed, "Go ahead, I'll use the one in the hallway."

"'Kay. There's a clean shirt on the bed for you. I don't wear it anymore, so, if you want, you can keep it,"

"Alright. Thank you Jayy. I love you,"

He laughed, "So I guess I can figure we're still tired, are we not? I love you too, but I doubt you mean it yet."

"I don't know, but I am tired. I'm gonna go shower, I feel sticky stuff and I don't even want to know what it is."

"Probably mine from when I changed the condom. I doubted it could take any more, so I figured I was better of changing it and sacrificing a minute or two than letting it break,"

"I'm infertile Jayy,"

"What? How tired _are_ you?"

"Very. But I am also serious. I was born with an odd defect, I have no eggs. You could've came a million times and nothing would've happened,"

"Then why'd Jade tell me to wear a condom?"

"I never told her. It seemed irrelevant,"

"Hmm... Do you _want_ kids?"

"Not really, never did. Do you? And please tell me the truth,"

"I really don't. I'm not responsible enough to support a human's life," he laughed.

"You seem to be doing fine with your own,"

"So you'd think. Dahvie had to remind me to eat once because I literally forgot,"

"How don't you notice being hungry?"

"I wasn't really. But it'd been almost twenty-four hours since I'd eaten so I guess he figured it was time," I laughed and Jayy smirked, "Alright, out of bed. It's time to get up,"

"Not until you're out of the room. I'm tired, not confident."

"Alright. I've got my clothes so I'll be out in like a half an hour ready to go,"

"Okay, I've got my lipstick and contacts so I'll be alright. By the way, I can't leave the house in just your shirt,"

"I know, there's a whole outfit there. Like I said, if if fits and you want it, it's yours. It's old and it doesn't fit, probably from when I was like sixteen. I don't even know why I still have it,"

"Works for me."

"Alright baby," he smirked, walking over to me and straddling me, not really caring that he was naked. I didn't mind either, he was sexy and I was tired. He kissed me gently and smiled for real this time. "I'll see you in a little while."

"Can we stop and grab some red hair dye later? I need some and I have the money in my wallet."

"Sure, I need some new contacts anyway. These don't last too long, but don't worry about paying for it. I'll buy you whatever you want,"

"Stop it, I have the money and I have some for contacts too. I need some blank white ones so they don't match my hair,"

"We can argue about money later. For now let's worry about showering and breakfast. Brunch by the time we get there," as he walked away, I could've sworn I heard him mumble something along the lines of 'How the fuck did I get so lucky?'.

"Alright," I said gently, watching the bathroom door close and smirking.

_How did _I_ get so lucky?_

I pulled on the shirt he'd given me and it covered enough that it was acceptable to wear inside the house, but short enough that it would still look good in an outfit outside.

Good thing, too. Because, as I made the short walk to the bathroom, Dahvie walked down the hallway. "So you guys _are_ up. Mind if I use the bathroom quick, seen as though you seem to be going in the shower?"

"Sure, no problem." It seemed like nothing could effect me, I was just too happy. "By the way, is there anything I can drink?"

"Yeah, the kitchen's down the hallway. Take anything you like, but I would _not_ recommend you drinking the alcohol, that stuff is _hard._ And that's coming from _me_, so you know it's strong shit."

"Thanks for the warning," I laughed, walking in the direction he'd pointed. I opened the fridge and grabbed some orange juice. When Dahvie came back, I went in the shower, relaxing as the heat returned to me quickly. I didn't lock the door, knowing that Jayy would probably come in.

Sure enough, after about fifteen minutes, I heard the door open. "Jayy, that _is_ you, right?"

"'Course it is baby," he purred softly, leaning in and kissing my cheek. "I just needed to grab my contacts, I accidentally left them in here last night," I flinched at the mention of it, "I know, I know. It's something you'd rather forget. But think about it my way; I learned things about you I probably never would of, at least not for a while. That's good, even if the way I learned them was less than ideal. Being honest, though, what happened last night was my fault. I jumped to conclusions and overreacted. That's what set you off. It had nothing to do with the blade and what you told me. It was all about what I assumed. That was what the fight was based on. But I'm glad I _did _at least learn something from it,"

I smirked, "You optimistic little bastard,"

"Pessimist much?"

"Yeah, I guess...When life has hands you crap from the start, you sort of gain a darker perspective. I can't tell you how long it's been since I've been able to honestly say I thought I was beautiful... Or even _happy_...But...I don't know. I guess, after you said you'd had your eyes on me for so long, I kind of got a little self confidence."

"At least I've helped you in that way," Jayy laughed, "But I can't say it hurt to have someone I wanted for that long turn and say they wanted me too. I know that I have a world of men and women alike that want me...It just seems like there's no one who wants me for...well me. I don't want it to just be that I'm famous, or that I look good. The fans that are fully obsessed with every fact about me are more than a little creepy, I'll admit, but you know all about me and yet you still want to be with me. I guess...I don't know. I guess I like that,"

"You liked me without knowing anything about me. You don't know the half of it, even now. But I really like knowing that, based off of my appearance, you got a little crush on me. My self-esteem is bathing in that right now. But, even after learning the worst things about me the night we met, you're still here with me. You're not leaving, saying that I'm crazy or stupid or too unstable. You're just saying it's something that you want me to stop."

"And it's not as if I'm not willing to help you either. I'm _happy_ to help you fix whatever problems make you cut," I flinched at the word, "And, if it comes to helping you by talking to you at three in the morning every night, in person or otherwise, I'm willing to do that too. Whatever it takes to help keep you safe _and_ let's me stay with you at the same time,"

I smiled, _He really is ready to help me. And he's being so sweet. Maybe it's too early to tell, but...I think I'm falling in love with him. But I guess it is a little soon to be thinking that. All I know now is that it's very important that I just hang on to him without being clingy. He's accepted something I feared that no one ever would so, for now, I just need to relax and keep myself nice and calm. _

The rest of the day went great. Jayy took me out for brunch, being that it was eleven-ish by the time we left, and we went and picked up new contacts for Jayy and I and hair dye for myself. After a lot of play-fighting over who was paying, we finally decided on letting Jayy pay for the contacts and I'd pay for my hair dye.

After that, Jayy and I went to different places, sort of just wasting time so we didn't have to go home yet, but, at around two, Jayy and I finally decided to grin and bear the fact that it _was_ about time to go home and get me back to my new apartment to help Jade get settled.

Jayy walked me to the door like a perfect gentleman. Jade smirked softly at the fact that I was in his clothes, but I knew she wouldn't be so happy when she found out why. My dress was in Jayy's room still, I realized quickly, but decided to just use it as an excuse if he never calls.

Just as I thought this and as Jayy was about to leave, he turned back to me, "I almost forgot. Just in case," he whispered, writing down something on a piece of paper, "Call me whenever, especially if you need me. By the way, I'll give you your dress the next time you come over," Nerves flashed in his eyes, "If there will be a next time?" he said, cocking his head questioningly.

"Definitely,"

His smile returned and he handed me the paper, "If you need me for _any_ reason," he cocked an eyebrow suggestively, happily making me blush, "Give me a buzz. Otherwise, I'll call you soon, okay?"

"Alright..." I mumbled, my blush still very evident.

"If you guys need me and Dahvie to help, feel free to call. Oh and Jazz?" Jayy asked.

With that and no other warning he pulled me closer, his arm still around my waist, and kissed me, hard, just like when we'd first met. Also like when we first met, I was leaning full into him when we stopped.

"God you're good at that," I whimpered.

"Just reminding you why you went out with me in the first place. And reminding you why I'm hoping you'll do it again,"

I smiled, "Alright, fair enough, but I really do have to help get settled so I'll talk to you soon. Call me, okay?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he laughed, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world that he would.

Chapter Eight

Sure enough, a few days later, after texting Jayy all night every night because we missed each other, Jayy called me, asking me to come over again that night.

"Jade?" I yelled across the living room to the kitchen as I tucked the phone into my neck so he couldn't hear.

"Yeah Jas? What do ya need?"

"We got anything to do tonight?"

"Not that I can think of. Talking to Jayy again?"

"Yeah. He wanted to know if I could go over to his place. You need me here for anything?"

"No you're fine. Tell him I said hi,"

Putting Jayy on speaker so Jade could hear, I told Jayy what she'd said.

"Hi Jade!"

"Is he here or are you fucking with me?"

"Neither, speaker phone Jade."

"So can you go babe?"

"Yeah, what time?"

"Hmm...Sooner the better." he teased. "Why, you bored?"

"A little. I've just been talking to you and messin' around on the computer to occupy myself after we got settled so I don't really have any big things calling my name besides YouTube,"

He laughed, "Alright. Want me to come pick you guys up now? Dahvie and I are pretty bored ourselves and, if I don't kiss you soon, I fear I may burst."

"Well I wouldn't want that," I laughed, "What d'ya think Jade? You wanna head over?"

"Fine with me,"

"Alright baby. I'll come grab you guys and we can head down."

"Okay honey, I'll see you soon,"

"See ya baby. See you soon Jade,"

Jade laughed, "Alright Jayy,"

Jayy seemed too quick about getting us, leaving us with probably twenty minutes for what should be a half-hour drive, including traffic lights. But, when we were driving, I realized that the roads were pretty clear and we were doin' the speed limit. He had me sit up front with him, after making sure Jade was okay with it, and I had my hand on his knee the whole way there and his arm was wrapped around me.

"Is that safe?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't care. I want to touch you."

"Never has there been a list of shorter sentences then the one I've just encountered."

"Oh well. Love you babe,"

"Love you t-Wait... Wow. We haven't said this before. At least...Not _directly_. But I love you too,"

"It's been a week you two. Puppy love doesn't count."

"I'd like to think it does," Jayy smirked.

"And anyway, we seem more like cats than dogs." And, with that, Jayy proceeded to pull over outside his house (because I have great fucking timing, that's why) and rub under my neck, purring and creating an odd, but sweet feeling.

Laughing, I pulled away and, as I noticed his pout, I kissed his cheek. He laughed and managed to get into my seat, straddling me and kissing me.

"Jayy..."

"No," he growled in my mouth, refusing to stop kissing me.

"Jayy stop. Jade is right here and doesn't need to see this,"

Sighing, he let me up, knowing I was right, "Sorry about that," he laughed quietly to Jade.

"No problem," she smiled, "You two are cute."

"Okay!" Jayy said excitedly and, at this, he began to kiss my neck.

"Jayy... Off..." I whined.

"I think not," Jayy growled, laughing and continuing to make a mark on my neck.

"I think so. Dahvie! Dahvie, help please!" I yelled, knowing that Dahvie would be able to hear me.

"Oh come on... Fine," He growled, sticking his nose in the air and pretending to be mad at me, "Tattletale,"

"You're so immature sometimes!" I whined like a little girl, trying to irritate him.

Dahvie slipped out the front door and, as he saw Jayy's nose in the air, he laughed and walked over, much calmer now that he could guess what happened fairly accurately. As he walked up, he messed up Jayy's hair playfully and then walking over to my side of the car.

"You okay?" he laughed, knowing the answer.

"Yeah..."

"I'm sorry," Jayy whispered, sounding genuinely concerned at the way I'd said yeah, "Don't be mad...I-I didn't mean it..."

"Well you should've thought of the possibility that she didn't want it." Dahvie growled, seeming nervous himself. "I can guarantee she told you to quit it multiple times before she went to me."

"I'm sorry..."

"No...No it's okay. I'm not mad. Just...preoccupied, I guess."

"What's wrong?" Jade asked, now getting scared herself.

"I'm just thinking about things...I'm just a little _nervous_," I admitted quietly, unable to turn away to hide my nerves due because I had Jayy on one side and Dahvie on the other. I hugged my legs, pulling them up onto the seat, and hid my face in them.

"Are you...Okay?" Jayy asked.

"This isn't exactly a conversation for the general public. No offense..." I said softly.

"None taken," Dahvie said.

"Yeah, we want you guys to be okay,"

"And it takes some getting used to, staying with someone who's in the position we are. _Especially_ if you're not around that a lot."

"Mind if we go in my room for a little while guys?" Jayy asked them, "I think I'd prefer to talk this out while the wound is still fresh, rather than after she's had time to think about leaving me,"

_There he goes again, purposely make me laugh when I'm hurting to make me feel better. I love him, but..._

"No, not at all,"

"Me neither," Jade said, "I just don't want to see a good thing lost between you guys, especially if you're only nervous. That's normal, isn't it?"

"Yeah,"

"That's why I want to talk it over _soon_," Jayy said, making sure he didn't say now, just in case they weren't okay with it.

"Yeah, no problem."

"No arguments here,"

"Alright," Jayy turned to me, "You wanna go talk it over in private?" I nodded, softly leaning into his chest. He put his arm around me gently, still working hard to make me smile. Finally, I gave in and let a timid smile out. "That's my girl," he said, happiness plain in his eyes.

He kissed me gently, leading me into his room. "Okay, spill. What is it that's got you so scared?"

"I-I don't know...It's nothing let's just-" I went to go for the door, but he cut me off, holding my arm so I couldn't leave.

"I didn't pull aside from my friend and yours to get nowhere. And I _certainly_ didn't do it to give you some more time to want to dump me, or give you any more reasons to. So what _is_ it?"

I stood quietly for a moment, then went and sat back down next to him on the bed, "It's just...We went so... _Fast. _I mean, one second I'm at a concert on my eighteenth birthday getting messed with by the band, the next I'm in a relationship and cutting over it, and the next we're fine and I'm losing my virginity. I am _not_ stable enough for this. I'm not stable at all. You must know that from what you saw, even just that first night. But I _don't_ wanna lose this... I became _too_ attached _too_ quickly. We've been on one date and I've almost lost you twice. We've known each other a week and I'm afraid of losing you. Maybe this is why none of my relationships work out, but I'm afraid of this going fast because I don't want it ending fast. I want this to be stronger than a fling Jayy. I want this to be something _real_."

"Well I'm _sorry_. I can't promise that this will go anywhere because I just don't _know. _What I _do_ know is that I'm not willing to give up just because it's moving fast. You wanna slow down? Fine by me. But _please _don't leave me yet. I really like you. Hell, I _love_ you. I-"

"Wait...What?"

"I love you,"

"Really?_"_

"Well yeah. You're beautiful, you're sweet, you trust me. I don't have time to list the reasons, but I love you."

"I love you too Jayy..."

"Did I just cause a problem? Because I didn't mean to, I just-"

"Jayy you just solved a problem,"

"What...? I did? I mean, of course I did." he laughed.

"Yeah. It was going so fast I was afraid I was just gonna be some fling...But if you actually love me..."

"I mean what I say, Jasmine. I don't lie and I won't just say something to make you stay. But especially not _that_. Maybe you've had some bad experience with relationships. Maybe people _have_ done that to you, but I won't. That's very wrong and I know that, so please don't think that I have any intentions of lying to you."

I smiled, "I love you,"

"I love you too. And don't test me," he teased, playing defensive to make me laugh.

"_Me? _Never," I laughed, leaning on his chest.

"Be careful how much you tease me." He laughed and laid down on his back, pulling me with him. As he flipped us over so he could pin me, he smirked. "You won't like the results," he teased warningly. He looked away, as if he was thinking, "Actually...Maybe you will...I wonder, I wonder," And, with that, he nuzzled under my neck, kissing and biting, checking for the spot that he'd found last time.

"Jayy?"

"Yeah..."

"Don't. We've gotta get back out there."

He sighed, "Will you stay the night?" he asked softly.

"I'll think about it, Jayy, but I've also gotta talk to Jade. Are we gonna be drinking?"

"Well I probably am and I assume Dahvie will. Why?"

"Because I've gotta figure out how Jade's gonna get home too,"

"She can stay here with us too, if she wants."

"With us?"

"So to speak. With us as in here in the house."

"Well I figured that. I just meant where."

"Guest bedroom, living room, wherever else, whatever she wants honey,"

"Okay," I said, smiling as he sat back up, keeping his arm around me and holding me into his chest. I leaned against it and smiled. _I love him. He can make me feel so good when I feel so bad. I love what he does and I love him._

"Alright honey, if we're going back out there we outta do it now," Jayy mumbled softly. I whined a little. "I know, I know." he chuckled. "But we've gotta. I don't want to leave this position any more than you do, but it's Saturday and being any less than drunk and in bed with you by the time I fall asleep would be a crime."

_He just _loves_ teasing me, doesn't he? Oh well, I like it. It's cute. _"Okay..." I whimpered, knowing if I sounded sad he'd kiss me.

"You've really got me whipped, you know that?" he laughed, kissing me.

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Relax," he said, kissing me again gently, "I'm just kidding, that's all baby,"

"I know. I wuv you," I teased in baby voice.

"Where the hell'd you pull that voice outta?" he laughed.

"My childhood," I said, my voice returning to normal. "Why?"

"It's cute is all. And I _wuv _you too," he couldn't help but laugh as he emphasized his baby voice on the word 'wuv'.

"That was just too fucking cute,"

"Wasn't it?"

"Yes. Now you're right, we've gotta go out there. C'mon,"

"Alright baby girl," he said, somewhat reluctantly, but, despite his reluctance, we went out into the living room anyway.

"No. Way." I growled suddenly.

"Dahvie!"

Chapter Nine

Jayy's POV

I couldn't help it. My jaw was on the floor. "Dahvie!" I yelled.

He jumped, surprised. Jasmine began to cry next to me, but I was burning with rage too hard to help her. Dahvie had a girlfriend, and I do stress _had._ Because, after this, she was gone.

"Jade! Why the hell would you-?! What were you-?! Ugh! He_ has _a_ girlfriend!" _Jas yelled.

"No, no. It was me! Don't yell at her. And anyway...We broke up yesterday..." Dahvie mumbled.

"So you intended to rebound with my best friend?!" Jasmine was pissed.

"Baby-"

"Stay out of it Jayy, I don't want to yell at you. I know myself and if you get involved right now I _will_ say something mean and I _will_ regret it. Leave me alone," She hissed, turning on me. She started to shake, tears welling up in her eyes. She'd yelled at me, and she felt horrible for it. But I'd be no help right now. I was just as mad, if not fully at her. If I started to speak, I'd end up yelling and she didn't submit to me or, as far as I knew, anyone else. She'd yell back and we'd end up in a fight.

_It's funny how I know all this after only a week. _I thought nervously. _Still, I don't want to fight with her. I'll be best off leaving her be._

"You're right. But I know Dahvie. He's not going to just use anyone; He's much better than that. If they both seriously intended for it to go _anywhere_ it wouldn't be out of pity or anything less than a crush, if not love, on his part." I said softly, forcing myself to both stay calm and ignore the fact that she'd just screamed at my best friend.

"He's right." Dahvie said softly. _Oh God...Stay out of it until she's calm Dahvie. I don't want her yelling at you! _"I would never hurt or use your friend with any less than good and honorable intentions. I didn't mean to upset you or her, but honestly it's none of your business what she or I do. I understand what you wanted to do, but-"

"Do _not _tell me it's not my business if my best friend is being played as a fucking rebound!"

"That's not my intention at all. As I said, I understand what you wanted to do. You want to protect her. I know," Dahvie was slowly getting closer to Jas and her signs of anger were dwindling slowly. Dahvie was talking her down, slowly, but surely, and doing a good job. _She's relaxing. Good._

"I don't want to hurt her, you, or anyone else. Yes I can see why you're concerned. But she's a big girl and-"

_Don't say it, Don't say it, Don't say it. _I thought to myself a million times. But Jade beat me to it.

"Do _not _finish that sentence. She's keeping me safe. I've known her for years and that's just how she is. She will protect any and everyone that she cares about with full force. She cares, that's all. I can bet she'd protect you the same way if it were reversed. But Jas, I mean it, he's not going to hurt me. You can trust me, Jasmine. You _know_ you can, don't you?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Then let me get hurt if that's what's going to happen. I won't be angry with you for it because it's not your fault. Every relationship comes with risk. A pretty high risk, actually. Most end in heartbreak, but what if this is the right guy for me? Do you want to deny me the chance to find out? I didn't tell you to stay away from Jayy, did I?"

"No. I just...I..." Tears began to fall. As I went towards her, Jade shot me a gentle glance. _Alright, fine. You take this one, but I want to be the one with her tonight. But, if I want to be honest with myself, she'll probably leave now. She's upset with Dahvie; I'm sure she doesn't want to stay in the same house with him overnight._

Jade walked over to Jas and I let Jade help her relax, calming myself with the hope that she'd stay the night anyway. But, knowing I had to be a gentleman about it and not beg her to stay, I sighed and walked over to her, quietly kissing her cheek. Jade let her go so I could pull her into my arms and, as I mouthed 'Thank you' to Jade, I held her gently and let her nuzzle under my neck as I rested my chin softly on her head.

"Jayy...Are you...Is he...-"

"Neither of us are angry at you," Dahvie said softly. "That's what it was, isn't it?"

She nodded softly, still nuzzled into me so she could hide. _She thinks I'm mad at her? _"Baby, I'm not mad. I _love_ you. So you got a little protective. That's not going to make me angry." I felt my shoulder start to dampen with her tears as they came again. "Aww...Baby, don't cry." I soothed her, calming my voice as I rubbed her back.

It really wasn't too hard to stay calm because I really wasn't mad at her or anyone else. So long as Dahvie wasn't cheating, which I don't even think he's capable of, and he isn't just planning to hurt Jade or anyone else, I'm fine. He isn't like that. He won't hurt someone for any reason, if it's avoidable. He's a very loving person and sweet as fuck, not that you'd know if you only saw him onstage. But that isn't the real us, what we sing about. Our deeper songs are really from our lives, but all the songs about drugs and sex, that's not us. He's a really good guy, but, that said, he doesn't take crap from people if it affects him or someone he loves, especially family, a girlfriend, or one of our fans.

"Jazzy...Don't cry... What's wrong?" I begged quietly in her ear.

"I-I just can't believe I freaked out on you guys. I should've had more faith in you, but...But I just jumped to conclusions...And yelled at you...F-For no reason...And...did you just call me Jazzy."

"Yes." We all laughed quietly at that one, even Jasmine.

"It's okay. You got a little protective, that's all." Dahvie soothed.

I heard something go off down the hall. "Babe, is that your phone?"

"Mm-Hmm..." She nodded. She started coughing.

"Are you alright sweetheart?"

"She does that when she cries. That just happens when she's almost done. She'll be alright," Jade mumbled calmly.

Rubbing her back, I kissed her head. "It's just a text Jayy," she mumbled.

"Still...You outta go check it. Want me to come or you wanna go by yourself?"

"I can go...but thank you." As I let her go she turned away from all of us, most likely so we couldn't see her face. "I'm sorry guys,"

"It's okay. Relax, alright?"

"Okay," She mumbled as she walked back to my room.

After a while of not having had seen her, and after Dahvie, Jade, and I had figured out that they were going to go out tomorrow and figure out what they wanted to do, I was itching to go find Jas.

"_Jade," _I whined her name so loudly that she couldn't ignore me this time.

"What Jayy?" She sighed irritably. 

"It's been an hour. She said she was going to check a text! Let me go check on her!"

"She'll be fine Jayy."

"If you really believe that than let me go check on her!"

"Fine Jayy, go ahead. _Anything_ to get you off my _back_!"

Sticking my tongue out at her, I went into my room and found a bottle of Jack, now half-empty after having been at _least_ three quarters of the way full and a broken shot glass. Jasmine was passed out in my bed in a puddle of puke.

"I can't say I haven't done it before," I laughed, "But _damn."_

"Jade?" I called loudly. "Dahvie?"

They both came running and Jade flinched at the mixture of puke and alcohol in the air. It seemed like she'd smoked a cigarette too, but I couldn't be sure. I picked up my pack of cigarettes and saw there was one missing. I found it in the ashtray.

"You're really worried about smoking right now?" Jade growled.

"C'mon what the hell's wrong with you?" Dahvie sighed.

"A lot. But it's not about me. I'm missing one and this one right here," I held up the almost full cigarette in the ashtray. Looking closer, I saw Jasmine's black lipstick. "Has lipstick on it. I know she was drinking and I have a feeling that something pushed her to try smoking. The combo would easily make her puke and she probably passed out from the alcohol. Being that she's never had either prior to this and told me that she never wanted to, I think something's wrong here."

"We've gotta get her up."

"And clean his bed..." Dahvie wrinkled his nose at the smell.

"Smell finally get to you? And don't worry about my bed, I just don't know what to do with Jasmine. After all, I'm sure she'll wake up and be fine if we move her out of the puke and let her sleep somewhere. But if something ws bad enough to push her to _this," _I motioned towards my bed. "I'm not sure I want to remind her of it until she's had time to relax and get some sleep under her belt."

"Well I see your point, but, no matter what we do with her, we've got to clean her up and get her out of here."

"Dahvie I can't clean her up in the dark, I'm limited to changing her there, and she's terrified of letting me see her naked. So I don't exactly know what to do here."

"Haven't you gone in the shower with her like twice?"

"Yeah and each time she's terrified. Add washing her to that equation and the fact that she's not conscious to stop me and you're asking for trouble."

"Would you prefer to leave her like this?"

"Jade? You tell me, you know her way better than I do, what should I do here?"

"I'll do it. I doubt she'll be worried about me and she'll get clean." 

"Fair enough, you wanna use my bathroom or the one in the hall?"

"Hall. This way you guys can clean up in here without two more people hanging around."

"And, besides that, you can't handle the smell." I laughed.

Jasmine's POV

"Guys, she's up!" Jade yelled _way_ too loud. Jayy and Dahvie came rushing in, smelling of puke. _Their's or mine...?_ I wondered silently.

"We just got the bedroom cleaned up five minutes ago, if you have to puke, _please_ head for a bathroom." Jayy teased.

Claustrophobia began to set in with all four people in the room. Or, I guess, in one _corner_ of the room; the bathroom itself was huge.

"She's getting pale...Why?" Dahvie said apprehensively.

"Too many people in too confined of a space."

"Claustrophobia?"

"Minor. Normally she won't throw up-"

"But," Jayy cut her off. "After _that _much alcohol on her first try and like two drags of a cig-"

That's all I could take. Happy to be next to the toilet, I turned towards it and puked again. I felt someone grab my hair a second before I did so and assumed it was Jade. After wiping my mouth with some toilet paper, I found out that I was wrong. Jayy mumbled softly. "Are you okay?" so quietly that he _had _to be close for me to hear it. Turning around, I confirmed my guess; Jayy let my hair drop gently and I nodded, both in answer to his inquiry and my own confirmation.

"You wanna stay in here for a little while?" Dahvie asked gently.

"No, I feel better. My stomach's settled. Just don't mention what I did."

"You know, it's still early, that was only like...an hour ago," Jayy said, checking his phone for the time. "Maybe I shouldn't ask...but..."

"Go on, it's fine Jayy. What is it?"

"What happened? To make you do _that_?"

"I don't re-" My stomach turned, not to the point of puking, but enough, as I remembered the text I'd gotten from my mother.

~~~FlashBack~~~

"_It's just a text Jayy," I muttered quietly._

"_Still...You outta go check it. Want me to come or you wanna go by yourself?" Jayy asked._

"_I can go...but thank you." I turned away to hide. "I'm sorry guys,"_

"_It's okay. Relax, alright?" Dahvie said uneasily._

"_Okay," I said, walking back to Jayy's room to grab my phone. I stared blankly at my screen for a moment. _No. This isn't...It can't... _I grabbed Jayy's Jack bottle and started to drink. Not the fun, party drinking. Just mouthful after bitter mouthful as I tried to unsee it. I even lit one of Jayy's cigarettes to try to forget the text that I'd just read._

'Tests are back sweetie. They said you're...bi-polar. I guess we sort of knew this from your behavior for a while. Maybe we were in denial, but your father and I knew something was up. I'm sorry we waited this long to try and help you. ~Mom~'

~~~End of FlashBack~~~

"Baby?" Jayy asked gently, pulling me out of my daze.

"Mm? Oh...I-I'm." _Just say it!_ "I'm bi-polar."

"The tests came back?" Jade asked.

"Wha-Oh. Those tests. I haven't got a problem with it. I didn't want to guess without knowing you so I didn't, but, with what happened before I figured it wasn't just ADHD." Jayy said, still calm.

"Is that what freaked you out?" Dahvie asked.

"I guess it sorta set me off. Mom said that she and my dad 'knew something was up' and 'knew this from (my) behavior for a while'." I said, making air-quotes as I quoted the text.

"And they waited until now to have you tested?" Jayy asked irritably.

"Yep. I love 'em, but seriously?"

"Our point exactly." Dahvie said. "What if it was lethal!? What if it was something treatable if found early!?"

"I don't know Dahvie. I just don't. What I _do_ know is that it's not and I have it."

"Relax sweetie." Jayy kissed my cheek. "I get it. But you don't need to worry, we're here for you. And anyway, it doesn't really mean anything at all angel. From what you've told me, you've always had it. Now it just has a name."

"S-Still. I-"

He held me real tight, putting one hand on the back of my neck and adjusting it so that my face hid into his neck. "I said I'm here for you and I mean it. I've got you. I _love_ you." He rubbed my back with his right hand, his left still holding my neck to keep me in place. He wanted me to stay right here, wrapped in his arms, until either he made the pain go away or it went away on it's own. But that would take time, and far too much of it for me to remain wrapped up tight in his arms.

"I love you too." I said, finally letting a tear fall. Almost humorously similar to potato chips, it couldn't be just one. The rest followed until he had to make his grip even tighter to account for my violent shaking.

"Shh...Relax baby. I've got you." I whimpered. He stopped holding my neck and let his arms wrap fully around me, cradling me in his warm grip. He carried me this way to his room, asked Dahvie and Jade for a little while until I could compose myself, knowing I wouldn't want to let them see me this way. I didn't even want to let _him_ see me this way. Finally, I ran out of tears and began to cough. "Here, wanna breathe now babe?" he teased, letting me go, but pulling one arm gently around my shoulders. I leaned into his chest.

"Thank you..."

"Not a problem sweetheart. I'm your boyfriend now honey. That means I stick around and help in the bad times so I _deserve_ to be around in the good times."

I kissed him again. "You said something sweet again." I explained as he looked at me funny.

He covered his mouth, a devious look in his eyes. "Sorry," he teased. When I laughed he pinned me playfully, rubbing under my neck and purring.

"God your hair is soft." I laughed.

"I'm surprised with all the dye in it." He smiled as I played with his hair. "I do condition it a lot though. Don't mess with it in front of Dahvie or you'll be thoroughly teased."

"You mean you will."

"That too."

I smirked. "I'm okay now, wanna go out there?"

"Yeah. Oh and no alcohol for you," he added, a hint of concern showing through his contact-colored eyes.

"Jayy?"

"Yeah."

"What kind of drunk are you? I'm sorry, that's sort of rude to ask, I just-"

"Doesn't seem rude to me. I'm a little nuts, I'll admit, but I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. But...Dahvie and I are a devilish pairing drunk. Baby?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I have bad timing, but, while we're on the subject, can I smoke in front of you?"

"Yeah, sure. You mean..."

"Tobacco."

"Oh, yeah. 'Course Jayy."

"Thanks." He leaned towards his nightstand and grabbed his cigarettes and pulled his ashtray closer. He lit his cigarette and carefully blew the smoke away from me, holding his cigarette as far from me as was comfortable for the both of us.

"Jayy it's fine."

"Well you don't smoke, I'm not blowing it in your face you poor girl."

"I'll be fine."

"Alright."

Eventually, the boys got tired and Jayy and I went into his bedroom whilst Dahvie went into his and Jade went into the guest bedroom.

Drunk as Jayy was, I was more than a little hesitant to go to bed with him. "Y'okay Jasmine?" he slurred.

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

"Mm...hmm..."

"_Sweetheart._ Why won't you come near me if you're fine?"

"Jayy just leave me be please."

He looked at me, very confused. I tried to ignore my nerves and laid down with him. _You'll never get any sleep if you don't._ "Jayy?"

"What's on your mind honey?"

"I'm just tired. Will you let me just go to sleep?"

"Sure." He leaned over and kissed me. Though I hated the smell of alcohol, I could still detect Jayy's cologne and I _loved_ that smell. "I love you babe."

"Love you too Jayy. Goodnight."

"G'night."

I cuddled into him, hiding my face and wrinkling my nose at the smell of alcohol, but eventually soothed myself with his relaxed, rhythmic, breathing.

Unfortunately that calm was short lived. I woke up without Jayy and the bathroom door closed, the light shining under it. As I gave up attempting to sleep on my own, I realized that I recognized the sound. _How surprised can I really be though, he was drinking. That means he's going to throw up eventually. _I looked at the clock. _I literally slept for five minutes._

Jayy walked in a minute or two later, smelling of cologne. He laid back down and I kissed him, his mouth tasted minty. _He brushed his teeth and put on cologne again...Fucking sweetheart._

"Baby, don't I just threw up. I don't want you to have to kiss me after that."

"You taste like mint." I laughed, kissing him again.

He smirked. "I'm sorry I woke you. I just assumed not puke where you were trying to sleep. Besides, I just washed my bed," he added, a playful look in his eyes. I hugged him and tried to pull him closer. "How's that working for ya?" He laughed and laid on his back, putting his arm around me in the process.

I smiled and leaned into his chest, breathing in the sweet, if not ridiculously strong, scent of his cologne, and fell asleep again.

When I woke up again, it was morning and Jayy was asleep, his rhythmic breaths right in my ear. I pulled carefully out from under his neck and he whimpered as he woke up.

"Relax," I mumbled gently in his ear. "I'm just checking the time baby. Go back to sleep and I'll be right back, okay?" I made sure to talk gently and quietly, as he was most likely hungover.

"Mm..." was the response I got.

"Alright, it's like nine o'clock Jayy. I'm gonna go get a drink and then I'll come right back."

Jayy kissed me and rolled over, his eyes opened slightly. He pulled a remote out from under his bed and gave it to me. "I'm not sure how long I'll wanna stay here, but my head is pounding. Will you stay in here and watch TV with me?" he asked.

"You sound so fucking sexy when you're tired." I laughed. "Just let me get a drink and I'll come right back."

He smiled. "You know you _are_ allowed to bring your drink in here sweetie."

"Thank you." I kissed him. "You know your awfully relaxed for someone with a hangover."

"Yeah I guess. You're being pretty quiet and gentle with me though. Besides, I love you and your voice is soothing as hell baby."

I smirked. "I love you too and thank you. I'll be right back."

"'Kay." He laid back down with the box on the floor in front of him.

I went to get my drink and he smiled when I returned with ibuprofen and a second cup filled with water.

"Will this help?"

"Definitely." He took two with the water and relaxed, holding me in his arms.

"Wanna watch cartoons?" I asked.

"Yes!" He laughed. "Is Spongebob on?"

"Yep."

"Can we watch it?"

"Sure!" I smirked. "You know we're both too old for cartoons, right baby?"

"Who cares?"

"I don't know, people who listen to radio talk shows."

"I've got nothing against those people, but I prefer Spongebob."

"Me too." I laughed with him and we cuddled and watched cartoons for a while.

Around 10:30, Dahvie walked over and knocked on the door. "You guys know where the ibuprofen is?"

"Sorry, I got it for Jayy and forgot to put it back," I said, getting up and giving it to him.

"No problem sweetheart." He laughed and took a couple. "Thanks. Jade's up by the way."

"Alright, I don't know about Jayy," I started, looking back at him. "But I'll be out soon."

Jayy smiled and walked over to me in his boxers. "You're so nervous baby, you don't need to be. I'll be up in a bit, I've gotta at least put on pants and then I'll be out."

"Alright, you guys watching Spongebob?"

"Yeah, problem?"

"Not at all, what channel?"

"Nick."

"Sweet! Oh and Jayy?"

"Yeah?"

"I hope you didn't forget, we have to keep touring. It starts back up in two days. You need to ask her. Soon."

"Ask me what?"

Jayy looked down. "Um, I was sort of wondering..." His hand slipped up the back of his neck and he looked up at me as he continued. "If you'd tour with us."

"And I hate to rush it, but we're going to need to know soon so we can pack and figure out the bus accordingly so you can have a bunk. Jade can go with us if you guys want." Dahvie said.

"I-I want to, but what about our new apartment..."

"Well..." Jayy eyed Dahvie and Dahvie nodded. "If you guys want...You could live here. I know it's sudden, but you guys _are_ on your families support for a year anyway so they could keep that money and you guys could...maybe...live with us?" he asked.

"I'd have to talk to Jade, but, if she wants to, I will. I just don't want to stick her family with the rent since I moved out and I don't want _her_ stuck with it after the year runs out either, ya know?"

"Well, she's up. Why don't you go talk to her while Jayy and I pack?"

"Alright." I kissed Jayy and he held my neck softly, pulling me into him. "Mm..." I pulled back. "J-Jayy."

"Shh..." With that, he pulled me back into a rough kiss.

"Jayy!" Dahvie laughed.

"Mm...Hmm?" He moaned it in my mouth.

"Let her go." Dahvie said through his laughter.

Reluctantly, Jayy and I pulled apart. He leaned forward, trying to keep going, but gave up. I laid on his chest and nuzzled under his neck as I tried to breathe.

"Sorry babe." He chuckled, rubbing my back until I finally could breathe again. It felt like forever (a good forever, being that it was forever in Jayy's arms), but it was actually only a minute or two of heavy breathing and a few seconds of lighter panting.

"Alright, I've gotta pack and you've gotta go talk to Jade."

"I know," I said, not moving.

"You gonna?"

"Eventually."

"_Baby_." He laughed.

I whined. "I don't wanna go!" I said in a baby voice.

"Gonna throw a tantrum?"

"Yep."

"Alright then. G'head. I don't care."

I pouted.

"C'mon baby, I wanna know if I have to live without you for the length of a tour or if we all get to live together," he mumbled softly.

"Okay...But only because you're sweet." I said, not dropping the baby voice.


End file.
